'Jersey Shore': Snooki doesn't 'speak clock language'
The action continues full throttle at the "Jersey Shore" where the tanning spray flows as freely as the alcohol. On the Thursday (Feb. 16) episode, the crew makes a cake (and eats it, too), Snooki deals with her urinary tract infection (finally) and Deena finally "does sex" with a dude who is "a nice guy, but kind of a d*** at the same time -- which [she's] into."
The Situation continues to attempt to paint himself as some kind of evil mastermind. It mostly doesn't work. This week, his manufactured drama is feigning hurt feelings when he's accused of stealing a piece of the cake Team Meatballs made to make up for skipping out on their gig at the Shore Store selling t-shirts. When we find out it was Pauly D who had scarfed a slice, the Sitch warns that the "Mean Mike" is about to come back. Oh good, we're hoping this means he'll ram his head into a wall on purpose again.
Showing off his usual command of the English language, Mike said, "I'm unanimous decision that ate the cake."
That's right, bubby. Just keep talking.
Meanwhile, in Deena land -- she finally gets it in with some dude whose name we can't even recall. Oh wait, it was Joey! We know this because we wrote down his name thinking he might turn into a semi-recurring character. Why? Because, said Deena, "I don't do sex with randoms."
Snooki was in her usual frame of mind -- drunk -- through most of the show. She was at her best when trying to figure out how to say the time was 11:50 p.m. -- was it "12 to 10" or "10 to 12?" she pondered.
"I have no idea how to speak clock language," she finally said, giving up on the whole concept and stalking off with her bunny costume head.
Roger and J-WOWW may have patched up their little squabble over whether or not he was spending enough time with her, but we're still not huge Roger fans. Or fans of huge Roger.
"I just know I wasn't calling and kissing your a**," said Roger explaining how the argument was settled.
Then in the final moments of the episode, just before he throws a punch at some dude at Karma who touched Jenni, he decides it's time to leave, saying, "Let's get out of here, I'm not dancing to Bon Jovi."
And he calls himself a Jersey guy? Meh.
Parting thought: Over the several seasons of "Jersey Shore," we suspect a shift in producer Sally Ann Salsano's strategy. While in the early days there was some attempt made to keep the house looking semi-presentable and MTV hip, they have since left the Shore house denizens to their natural habitat: Absolute squalor. Every horizontal surface is covered with half-empty plastic cups, dirty plates, various leopard-print items, bottles of spray tanner, Axe body spray and trash.
Honestly, it's a work of art.