'Jersey Shore' part 1: You don't want to be like Mike
Snooki stands alone
Last episode, Snooki told Sammi and Ronnie that the house was mad at them for being antisocial and suggested they have a house meeting to talk it out. This week, Sammi and Ronnie independently talk to the other roomies and no one sides with Snooki. Sammi decides to take Snooki up on the house meeting. Again, no one backs Snooki up. Most of all, Mike throws her under the bus. Snooki decides to apologize to Sammi in front of the house. Issue smashed?
Mike brings home a trash bag. What's new? Why does he always try to come off like such a player? He totally wants to settle down. Everytime he finds a girl he really likes, like the way he's talking about this one, he totally tries to lock it down.
Snooki also meets someone and he's not a guido. They talk into the night about her desire to save animals. She's going to school to be a vet tech, remember? How could we forget? Snooki calls the non-guido, "Cowboy."
Vinny hangs out with Danny's girl again. By the way, she has a name: Tanya. They seem to be really getting along. After the club, they go back to the house and do some deep talking while laying in a hammock. Then, they see Mike banging his chick in the hot tub. Classy. Just then, Snooki and her non-guido appear and break up the tubmaking, I mean lovemaking. Mike is not happy that Snooki broke up his fun.
In the morning, someone is banging on the front door. Turns out it's Mike's trash bag's friend and he is there to gather her up. Turns out the girl missed work and her family sent some guy with a braid to fetch her. I'm sorry. Rewind. That was a chick. My bad.
Mike sets Ronnie up
The next night, the house goes out and Ronnie is let off his leash. Not for too long, though. When Sammi can't find him, Mike is nice enough to point him out. Oh, and Mike found it necessary to stress that Ronnie was talking to some chick. Mike, you're not jealous at all. Of course, Sammi isn't happy. By the way, Sammi, did you check out that chick Ronnie was talking to? No competition. Later, Ronnie confronts Mike about telling Sammi about him talking to the buttuhface and denies it. Ronnie doesn't believe him, of course. Ronnie should pop Mike for that one. Oh, and violence is never OK.
Vinny doubles his fun
Mike's sister, you know the one that looks like Mike with a wig on, returns and she has her sights set on Vinny. Vinny doesn't mind, because he knows the more he drinks, the better she looks (like last week). It's also a plus that he's annoying Mike by hanging all over his sister. The guys are experiencing a little friction (but in a totally straight way), lately.
Suddenly, Tanya appears and Vinny drops Mike's sister for her. That doesn't sit well with Mike. He decides to confront Vinny, who ends up going back to his sister. Back at home, he decides to make out with her in front of Mike. Later, Mike tries to keep his sister upstairs for bed, instead of downstairs where Vinny is. After the lights go off, though, so does his sister. She wanders off into Vinny's bed. Scan-lous!
Getting' out of the J.S., headin' over to the A.C.
The house takes a trip to Atlantic City and Snooki takes the craziest bubble bath while everyone naps. It actually looked like a lot of fun.
At dinner, the guys start laying into each other. Mike then turns his attention to Snooki and she fights back. But when Snooki asked for a roll, Mike joked about her already having one. That got her. After that, Snooki broke into tears and left the table. She confesses that she used to have an eating disorder in high school and really takes Mike's fat jokes hard. Later, she schools Mike about going off at the mouth like that and he apologizes.
At the club later, Snooki gets nuts with some guy. Vinny finds some hot trash bag with fake boobs, but when he leaves her, Mike "pulls a robbery." Wow, Mike is definitely reaching new heights of jerkdom this week!
Jenni gets sick in the bathroom and she asks Mike to walk her back to the hotel room. He's still with Vinny's ex-trash bag and refuses to walk J-WOWW back to the room. Fine, she got pretty belligerent and swung at him, but then he had her kicked out of the club! Really, Mike? You're going to turn your roomie in for some trash bag you just stole from Vinny, who he, himself, just met that night! So wrong. When Mike comes home, J-WOWW lets him have it.
Quotable quotes from "The Shore":
- "No man will ever touch me ever twice like that." - Sammi (Barely making sense as she continues to make Ronnie guilty for pushing her last week)
- "I'm not a guido. I'm a guidette." - Snooki (Proudly correcting "Cowboy")
- "I don't know if she's using that for protection." - Vinny (As Mike and one of his trash bags get it on in the hot tub)
- "Mike is so grimy. She has my saliva in her mouth. I wonder how I taste?" - Vinny (On Mike robbing the chick he just made out with in A.C.)
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Photo Credit: MTV