'Jimmy Kimmel Live': Matt Damon steals the show... Literally

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For years now, Jimmy Kimmel has ended his show by apologizing to Matt Damon. It seems that they're always just running out of time before the actor can come on for an interview.

Well now Matt Damon has had his revenge. On the night of Thursday, Jan. 24, "Jimmy Kimmel Live!" had Damon as a guest for the first time. Only that's not exactly what happened...

As the above clip shows, Damon wasn't just on the show to chat. He was there for revenge.

And oh, it was sweet! From Matt Damon's clever hosting skills (if that whole movie career goes kaput, he definitely has a second career in late night) to the all-star testimonials ( Oprah! De Niro! Jimmy Kimmel's parents!) to a couch filled with Oscar nominees and winners, everything on the night of "Jimmy Kimmel Sucks!" was perfect.

jimmy-kimmel-live-matt-damon-abc.jpgJust like Matt Damon himself, when you think about it. As for Jimmy Kimmel, he spent the entire show bound and gagged in the background.

What were the highlights of Damon's night of glory?

"I am Luke Skywalker and he is the Death Star. Big and round and easily destroyed through his garbage hole." -- Matt Damon

"Hey Jimmy, have you heard the joke about Lindsay Lohan? Because I have -- 1205 times." -- Matt Damon

Guillermo was replaced by Andy Garcia. No one commits to a role like Andy Garcia. No one.

Sheryl Crow -- also there to debut a new single -- took over as band leader.

A brief moment of Jimmy-praise turned out to be written on cue cards held by none other than Ben Affleck. If that weren't funny enough, Damon's response of "He doesn't even love you like I love you!" was perfection personified.

jimmy-kimmel-live-matt-damon-robin-williams-andy-garcia-abc.jpgAlthough Damon was funny enough, there's something amazing about inviting Robin Williams to finish the opening monologue.

The reason for Kimmel's hatred of Damon? Supposedly, they've tried out for all the same parts. And Damon had the audition tapes from "Good Will Hunting," "Happy Feet 2," "Stuck on You" and more.

"I'm F**king Matt Damon!!!"

"How you doing over there, Jimmy? I'm just kidding, I don't care." -- Matt Damon

jimmy-kimmel-live-matt-damon-nicole-kidman-gary-oldman-reese-witherspoon-demi-moore-abc.jpgThe guest couch, at one point, held Nicole Kidman, Gary Oldman, Amy Adams, Reese Witherspoon and Demi Moore. Meanwhile, Andy Garcia was outside, throwing rocks at movie stars.

Kidman admitted to kleptomania. Witherspoon came loaded down with booze.

jimmy-kimmel-live-matt-damon-nicole-kidman-abc.jpg"I am the opposite of Jimmy Kimmel: Matt Damon." -- Matt Damon

Sarah Silverman came on as a guest for the first time since her five-year relationship with Kimmel ended. She compared him to hot dogs.

"Wait, I'm sorry. We're out of time!"

jimmy-kimmel-live-matt-damon-suck-abc.jpg


Photo/Video credit: ABC