Jon Stewart: President Obama lost despite Mitt Romney firing Big Bird
Here are some highlights:
"There is no red America, there is no blue America. There is only the America that can't believe how bad this guy did in the debate. How bad was the defeat? Obama lost despite Mitt Romney doing this [clip of Romney cutting PBS and Big Bird]."
"Obama lost even though Romney was lying his a** off the entire night."
In reference to moderator Jim Lehrer: "It's like moments before the debate, Scott Bakula Quantum Leap'd into Lehrer's body and then had to figure out where the f*** he was ... he's like, 'Hey, Dean Stockwell, am I here to prevent a crime? What the hell's going on around here?' Anyway, my point is -- 'Quantum Leap' was a really good show."
And then Stewart addressed the President directly:
Hi, Mr. President. You know, look -- I know you probably dread having to spend 90 minutes debating some knucklehead from Harvard who's just gonna blahblahblah all night. Believe me, I know. I've been there. Or will be Saturday at 8.
But you know, Mr. President. Everyone has parts of their jobs that they don't like as much, but they still have to do those things if they want to keep those jobs. And if you don't want to do it for yourself, think of your supporters. Look what your performance did last night to one of them [shows clip of Chris Matthews' meltdown on MSNBC].
You happy? Mr. President, you broke Chris Matthews! Now nobody can use him ... he likes you. And even the people who don't like you were somewhat stunned at the poor performance ...
Here's what's perhaps most maddening. For the past year and a half, you, Mr. President, have inundated this country with urgent emails begging for support and money and energy. And money. And money. And money. And it's not just the number of emails. It's the intensity of their content ... but the point is this.
You and your campaign have demanded a level of effort, urgency and relentlessness from your supporters. A level of effort, urgency and relentlessness you failed to display in a national presidential debate. Shouldn't your urgency and passion be on par with the urgency and passion of your e-blasts? Or are you not on your mailing lists?
I'm tempted to leave you with the wise words of a noted actor, whose campaign viral video has been forwarded to my inbox 1900 times by some of your more passionate followers. I believe it goes a little something like this [clip of Samuel L. Jackson telling supporters to "wake the f*** up"].
We'll post video as soon as we have it. But it was pretty amusing. And spot-on, as usual.