'Knight Rider': The neurotoxin of death

Justinbruening_knightrider_240 As you may recall, last week Knight Rider opted to not have KITT turbo boost over anything. It was a huge mistake, and I was truly shocked that they didn't do any turbo boosts tonight to rectify it. Have they blown the turbo boost budget already? Does KITT only get "x" number of turbo boosts a season and have they've already exceeded that number? Well, even if there were no turbo boosts tonight, other things did happen, stuff like Michael's dying, read on to find out all about it.

Michael's mission this week began with him grabbing an all-around bad guy -- the guy had smuggled weapons, people, and intel -- with an "item." But, it was not as simple as man and item (it never is), someone else was tracking the man and the item too, and no one at KNIGHT knew who they were. The man managed to disappear from the others tracking him, he even set a ruse with a fake briefcase, but he couldn't get away from Michael, who was wearing a Mission: Impossible-style mask and who tossed the bad guy into back of a van (an equally well-disguised KITT).

Back at headquarters, our bad guy refused to give up the information on his next job. It was not a smart move and led to him being strapped into KITT and tilt-a-whirled around KITT's gyroscopic parking spot. I guess the bad guy wasn't so much a fan of carnival rides, because as soon as his 20 second stint in the tilt-a-whirl was done he did everything asked of him. These things included speaking a phrase so that his voice could be imitated with a funky little fake skin patch and looking into a set of goggles so that his retinas could be scanned and duplicated in a pair of contact lenses. Those sweet little bits of technology allowed Michael to pretend to be our bad guy and go meet the other bad guys so that he could do whatever was necessary with the item so that he could be Sarah's date at a wedding in five hours.

While five hours might already have been cutting it a little close, Michael's time limit became a whole lot more constrained when he met with the bad guys and they injected him with a great little neurotoxin poison that would kill him in three hours. The new bad folks had the antidote, but would only supply it once Michael had dropped off the item at its destination.

Michael of course couldn't do that immediately. First, he had to drop it off at KNIGHT Industries so that it could all be copied before Michael brought it to the correct drop off point. And, as long as he was there, they checked out the drug Michael was injected with and KITT was able to put up a great clock that was counting down to Michael's demise (it started at just under 2 and a half hours).

I can't imagine it was an intended consequence (as they would have been moronic bad guys for it to be), but the drug that Michael was injected with started to affect his ability to do things like run, breathe, and drive a car. It also acted as a truth serum (that was probably on purpose). Due to this "under the weather" feeling, Michael sat on a bench at the drop off and had the item taken from him. A car chase ensued, with the recipient winding up in an accident and more than mostly dead. It was quite the bummer as she was the only lead in the case.

I know what you're thinking -- "gee, they must have been up the creek at first, but then created their own antidote, and had Michael go back to the where the bad guys were to beat them up." You're so wrong, that's not at all what happened.

Instead, the team back at KNIGHT pieced together an incredibly scant amount of information to deduce that the recipient of the item had been an assassin who was going to kill someone at a conference called Tech for Tomorrow. They then opted to create another new Mission: Impossible-style face for Michael and sent him off, still slowly dying, to complete the task. But, I do like your idea better.

In any case, Michael went to the conference, collected a purse from the coat check (the ticket was in the case he had dropped off), and threw on a pair of contact lenses from the purse that had a pretty great targeting system in them that told him who to kill. The only problem was that to get the lenses on Michael had to rip off his fake face (apparently our hero's Achilles' heel is contact lenses). But, he did it, shot (with a fake bullet) a tech guru/CEO named Darian Richards, and somehow escaped. Sure, he had to take out two cops and KITT had to be pretend to be a police cruiser, but the fake assassination was accomplished.

On the road and trying to escape the authorities, KITT learned that someone was shorting shares of Richards' company's stock. Apparently the assassination was planned not because of some ideological thing, but rather to make a killing on Wall St. My immediate thought was that Bernanke and Paulson were behind it, but that turned out to not be the case. Instead, it was someone named Walton Axe's company who was behind it, and it was Walton who poisoned Michael.

I know that Michael heard all that information, but I don't know if it all sunk in before the poison killed him. Michael is one lucky guy though, because Sarah was on her way to him and she ran into KITT just in time to slap some cardiac pads onto his chest and (with the help of KITT) she shocked him back to life (I saw James Bond do that, and he didn't need anyone's help).

Death isn't something that can stop Michael though (as we learned in the first episode) and he and Sarah rapidly tracked down Walton. KITT chased Walton's SUV through a parking lot and, despite the SUV having a massive gun with explosive bullets that were severely damaging KITT's nanoskin, KITT managed to bring the SUV down just as it got to the roof and to a helicopter that was there to take Walton away.

Walton didn't manage to make it to the copter before backup arrived and arrested him. He did however have one last ploy up his sleeve -- he dropped the antidote, thinking he was dooming Michael. Silly bad guy, he didn't know that Sarah could sop up the antidote with her shirt, have KITT analyze it, and then have KITT fix the KNIGHT attempt at an antidote Michael had been given earlier by adding some antigens to it that KITT got from Sarah's blood (which, conveniently, is the same type as Michael's). Thus, they all lived happily ever after, and Sarah didn't even have to go stag to the wedding as she was off saving the world while it was taking place.

Question of the Knight -- today KITT uttered a famous Yoda phrase ("do or do not, there is no try"), who do you think he quotes next week, Scarlett O'Hara?

The TV and Film Guy's Reviews - Where we promise to never go hungry again.