We kind of feel like Stefon from "Saturday Night Live" trying to describe the epic-ness that is Lady Gaga's new video for "Marry the Night."
It. Has. Everything. Directed by the singer herself, the 13-minute clip is chock full of everything from choreographed dance numbers to flaming cars to Honey Nut Cheerios. It starts out with Gaga being wheeled into a mental ward that somehow looks like how a movie would portray a mid-century orphanage.
It then segues to some ballet dancing, some odd performance art involving a topless Gaga and some Honey Nut Cheerios, a junkyard full of cars that are on fire with Gaga in a studded Mad Max getup, and then a choreographed dance at a studio with a group of folks that reminds us of that class Jodi Sawyer went to in "Center Stage."
There's also a shot of a full moon, which we're pretending is an ode to boyfriend Taylor Kinney (a.k.a. Hot Werewolf Uncle Mason from "The Vampire Diaries") even though it's nothing but a cinematic scene-setting element.
By the end, we realize this portrait of a self-destructive pop star is definitely a statement on Gaga's own life. But is this a reflection on what she feels her life has become, or what she doesn't want to be? Or is she likening signing to Interscope Records to being in a mental ward?
So many questions, Gaga. Not so many clear-cut answers. What do you think?