Lifetime's 'Unauthorized Saved By the Bell' story didn't have nearly enough sex

the-unauthorized-saved-by-the-bell-story-lifetime.jpgIf you tuned in to Lifetime's "Unauthorized Saved By the Bell Story" looking for some salacious behind-the-scenes gossip from your favorite '90s high school sitcom acted out by people who vaguely look like the "SBTB" actors if you chug three glasses of wine and squint, then you were probably disappointed.

But if you tuned in for a cheesy imagining of what life was possibly like for some of the "Saved By the Bell" actors sometimes, as told by everyone's least favorite character (and extrapolating lots of scenes between other actors for which he was presumably not present), then "Unauthorized" was for you.

Unfortunately, although Dustin Diamond allegedly spilled plenty of juicy details in his book on which this low-budget Lifetime movie was based (which he now says he made up, and which we're not sure anyone actually read), all we got were chaste kisses that you'd see on a Saturday morning children's TV show (oh, wait) and Canadian-tinged accents.

PSA: You have to wait about an hour for the caffeine pill reenactment.

There was a lot more Screech drama in the movie than the show, since this is narrated Zack Morris freeze-frame-style by movie Dustin, so he had the best scenes of the film.

Which was your favorite ridiculous Screech/Dustin moment? There are plenty of candidates -- the hot pink-tinged muscle dream sequence, the karate montage, the bad influence friend who may or may not have been imaginary (until we found out he was just a hanger-on who wanted a job -- "I just want a piece of what you got, D")?

Photo/Video credit: Lifetime