'Medium'

Tvpartyw224The cool thing about Allison Dubois is that no matter how much she eats, how much water she retains or how much weight she gains, she's always a "Medium." Ha! Get it? 'Cuz Allison, played by Patricia Arquette on NBC's Monday hit Medium, is a psychic. Now you get it? Oh man, can humor be palpable? So alert all of your nonpsychic friends (the psychic ones already know about this) and let's throw a "Medium"-sized party! We predict you'll have a good time.

Setting the scene:
Mediums are just like you and me -- except for being able to see the future and talk to dead people -- so you don't need a lot of changes to your home. Just focus on subtle details that intuitive guests will pick up on: deep red velour curtains, a round table with a crystal ball in the middle (or a golden horn), chairs in a circle and perhaps a shaman to be a greeter. And though everyone will want to watch the show, they'd love a chance to interact with a real medium, so hire a psychic to work the party (check your Yellow Pages or see below). During commercials, have a few Ouija boards set up. Invitations should include the face of one of the Arquette sisters but no further information -- just to test everyone's intuition. Party favors should include crystals, official Medium T-shirts that say "Dream On" and DVDs of the series.

Attire:
Send every guest a T-shirt that says "Mediums Come in All Sizes." The host should sport a wig that resembles Allison's coif. The closest we found was the Fresh from Raquel Welch's line of wigs.

On the menu:
Alphabet soup (in case the spirits want to spell it out for you); a cornucopia of fresh fruit, Death by Chocolate. Drinks: The Medium -- one part absinthe and one part Ovaltine. Warning: it could kill you.

On the hi-fi:
Psychic by Vanessa Hudgens; Dark Lady by Cher; In Dreams by Roy Orbison; Someone Saved My Life Tonight by Elton John; The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel; Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney and Wings.

The showstopper:
Forget Sylvia Browne and her ilk. If you want to talk to a psychic that can freak you out, try Fiona Saxman of the White Gryphon in Woodstock, N.Y. For more than 20 years, she's been turning skeptics into head scratchers in both the United States and England.