Monica Lewinsky shares suicide thoughts on 'The '90s' and 'Good Morning America'
Some of what she has to say about one of America's biggest political scandals is even a little bit surprising.
"I don't even know how to accurately describe the shock and the trauma and the fear," Lewinsky says in her interview, referring to the moment she became a public figure after the FBI accosted her in a shopping mall. She was only 20 at the time, but thanks to her affair (the details of which are still a little vague after two decades), Lewinsky suddenly became the biggest person in both politics and the tabloids.
She hated it. "I looked out the window and thought I'd just jump," she says now of that time. Why was it so hard on her? According to Lewinsky, the situation came down so much on her because of her gender and the fact that Clinton kept his distance. "I think a lot had to do with the fact that I was a woman," she says.
Clinton had little to do with Lewinsky once the scandal broke, something that the woman still seems angry about after all this time. "I had felt there should be some sort of apology to my parents," Lewinsky explains. "He truly was more the adult in the situation."
More about Lewinsky's point of view on the scandal airs as part of "The '90s: The Last Great Decade" on the National Geographic Channel.