'NCIS': Blazing Saddles
If the Spoilers had a million dollars, they would buy your love.
Abby seems rather shaken when she arrives at this week's crime scene, if only because she knew of the victim through phone conversations. NCIS agent Jack Patterson mailed her a Southwest inspired painting mere seconds before he was gunned down on the streets of Washington, D.C. Crumpled in the dead agent's hand is a business card for one Bartholomew Lemming: Field Director for the Department of Homeland Security.
Mr. Lemming used to work with Jack in Arizona on border and customs. Seeing as how they were close at the time, Bart offers any help that's needed. Naturally, the gang has every base covered. Agent Patterson was stationed on the George Washington, so DiNozzo and McGee begin their search on the ship. Recent photos taken by Jack lead the guys to a secure storage bay, where they eventually tag a seaman trying to retrieve a backpack full of cocaine. Seaman Richard Zell pops DiNozzo in the face trying to escape, but all he gets is roughed up by McGee.
While Zell will go down on the drugs, he is not the killer our gang is looking for, having been 200 miles away when the shooting occurred. Abby's analysis of the landscape initially turns up nothing, but slugs recovered from Jack's body are linked to a murder in Scottsdale two years prior. She then moves to the box the landscape arrived in, leading the gang to determine the sender was, in fact, the painter herself: Dina Risi.
Problem is, as an up-and-comer in the art world, her political views have made her a target, so she's gone underground. Lucky for everyone, NCIS has the coolest technology... including heat sensing satellites, which after context clues are used, pinpoint her cabin located in the middle of Nowhere, Arizona. Gibbs and DiNozzo saddle up on the next flight out, eventually meeting up with Sheriff Clay Boyd. Yes, he's exactly what you'd expect. The only way to her cabin is by horse, which allows for Anthony to provide comic relief as they make their way through the desert.
Before they camp for the night, our traveling gang find out the Bartholomew Lemming they've been dealing with is a fraud. They kick up their effort double time the next day, eventually arriving at the cabin to a barrage of bullets. Once they calm Dina down, they find out she sent the landscape to show a corrupt mining company is trying to take over a mine full of uraninite potentially worth billions. Gibbs and DiNozzo evacuate her, only to have fake Bart eventually find the gang via private helicopter. Unlike the bad guys from The A-Team, fake Bart actually shoots Sheriff Clay, but is no match for Gibbs' sharpshooting skills as he takes the pilot out, causing the chopper to crash.
It was fun to watch DiNozzo deal with the evening's B-story involving an estate his uncle might be leaving him worth over $35 million dollars.... except in the end, not only will he not see a dime, but cousin Crispian (who is the sole beneficiary) is calling due a long-standing IOU for $10,000 plus 20 years interest.
This kids, is why you never play with money you don't physically have.
Our next all-new NCIS will be late in March... enjoy the time off!