'New Moon': What the critics say ('Boo,' mostly)

robertpattinson_kristenstewart_twilightnewmoon_290.jpgThe reviews for "New Moon" have rolled in, and for the most part they are not kind to the second movie in the "Twilight" saga.

What critics have to say about the film will have next to no effect on its commercial prospects -- we doubt that a single Twihard will be swayed by "New Moon's" paltry 28% score on Rotten Tomatoes. But bad reviews can make for good reading, so here's a selection of what reviewers, both negative and positive, are saying about the movie.

"Constrained by the plot of the novel, the film keeps the two lovers apart for quite a spell, robbing the project of the crazy-in-love energy that made 'Twilight,' the first entry in the series, such a guilty pleasure." -- Kenneth Turan, LA Times

"The characters in this movie should be arrested for loitering with intent to moan. Never have teenagers been in greater need of a jump-start. Granted some of them are more than 100 years old, but still: their charisma is by Madame Tussaud." -- Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

"Most of us here at MTV News make no secret of the fact that we're fans of the franchise, and if you're reading this story, we know you'll see this latest 'Twilight' installment -- which is why we wanted to write something that doesn't so much say, 'See this movie,' as it says, 'Don't worry; this movie is all you're hoping for.'" -- Larry Carroll, MTV.com

"How much difference could switching directors make? Although it's hard to answer that question definitively, 'New Moon' offers few of the juicy, go-for-broke romantic pleasures of its predecessor, and the movie is so badly shaped that it's hard not to blame [Chris] Weitz as a director." -- Stephanie Zacharek, Salon

"The worst thing about 'New Moon' the book is the best thing about 'New Moon' the movie. ... If you had not read the series, in which Edward is infinitely more appealing and dimensional, you'd wonder what Bella was doing staring off into space in deep mope over this guy for weeks on end. Especially when Jacob Black arrives on the scene to distract her from her melancholy. Where [Robert] Pattinson's Edward is cold, bloodless and trapped in his head, Taylor Lautner's Jacob is warm, tawny, genial and able to get Kristen Stewart's shrink-wrapped Bella to stretch out and relax a little onscreen." -- Nancy Gibbs, Time

"Expect this film to satisfy its fans. Everybody else, get ready for a bizarre soap opera/pageant, consisting of a succession of static scenes with characters loping into the frame to announce exactly what they're thinking. Then they spell out their personalities for us." -- Mick LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle

"Considering Lautner's acting improved so much sans shirt, I wonder if there might have been Oscar buzz had he taken off his pants. Stewart herself can't seem to take her eyes off his chest throughout their scenes together." -- Garth Franklin, Dark Horizons

"Wisely 'New Moon' brings back screenwriter Melissa Rosenberg, who continues to prove she has a much better way with English than the author of the books, Stephenie Meyer. The director this time is Chris Weitz, who handles this tosh with the commitment it requires." -- Michael Phillips, Chicago Tribune

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