'Off the Map'

tvparty227.jpgWouldn't it be nice if we were all so philanthropic as to chuck it all - our comfy homes, fancy lattes, paved roads - and head to some Third World humidor in order to help others? Maybe we could build latrines, inoculate children and research ancient remedies while making out with like-minded shirtless young doctors. That's how it works on Off the Map, airing Wednesdays on ABC. And that's the world we want to live in. If it sounds good to you, too, and you can do without the little things - such as clean water and grocery stores - call your friends and neighbors, because we're throwing an Off the Map party!

Setting the scene:
For a doctor, tiny towns in South America are appealing because malpractice insurance is an unknown commodity, and every waterfall is clothing-optional. So lets decorate in primo South American: lush tropical vegetation, walls made of corrugated metal siding, rolled bamboo panels around the bar area (there's always a bar), a metal hospital cot, a privacy screen, mosquito netting and fake bugs, some goats (yep) and a few macaws flying around if possible. Hey, that's how things are at La Clinica Cruz del Sur. If all doctors looked like these, our co-pay would be much more tolerable. Don't forget a map of South America. Party favors can be anything from tongue depressors to Off! insect repellent. Games can include blow dart target practice.

Attire:
Dressing for the tropics this time of year can be challenging, but as long as you promise to crank up the heat, tell guests to wear their best shorts and Hawaiian-style shirts. Hospital gowns and stethoscopes are optional.

On the menu:
When you are in the jungle fighting everything from snakebites to malaria, you need to eat right and have the strength of 10 malnourished foreigners. With that said, we are serving a quinoa superfood medley featuring quinoa oatmeal cookies, quinoa corn muffins, crispy quinoa chicken tenders, and steak and quinoa salad with mango salsa.

On the hi-fi:
South American by Brian Wilson, The Girl From Ipanema by Antonio Carlos Jobim, Jungle Love by Steve Miller, Three Nights in Rio by Wyclef Jean, Bungle in the Jungle by Jethro Tull, Welcome to the Jungle by Guns N' Roses, Jungle Boogie by Kool & the Gang.

The showstopper:
After you've warned the locals about the dangers of tobacco, why not pat yourself on the back and take the entire party to one of the coolest places on Earth - Peru's Machu Picchu? Stay at the spectacular Machu Picchu Sanctuary Lodge and be blown away by the Lost City of the Incas.