'Office': CriManSqua, FNC!

I'm sure I missed some things in Thursday's jam-packed Office, because I just can't transcribe as fast as the jokes were flying in an episode about an obscene watermark printed on Dunder Mifflin paper.

So, so much to laugh at, so we'll go all-bullet points on the highlights:

  • Johnkrasinski_theoffice_s2_240_2Jim's pre-credits Dwight imitation: "Fact: Bears eat beets. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica." Anyone catch what the bobblehead that finally sent Dwight off was?
  • Stanley apologizing to a customer -- "I am upset. Don't I sound upset?" -- in the same Stanley monotone he always uses (outside of Pretzel Day and setting Ryan up for fall).
  • The return of Threat Level: Midnight, the name of Michael's screenplay from the season two episode "The Client."
  • Creed is one amoral cat, huh? Hanging out Debbie Brown like that. But let him explain: "The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive -- just like I did when I was a homeless man."
  • Great editing on the talking-head bit with Kelly ("This day is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S ...") and Angela, gobbling pills and saying, "I don't have a headache. I'm just preparing."
  • Michael, unable to help himself: "I need two men on this. (That's what she said.) No time! (But she did.) No time!"
  • "Beer me. ... I always say 'Beer me.' People laugh like a quarter of the time."
  • More Andy: "She's probably a guidance counselor? A tutor?" And, "We didn't do anything illegal -- except knock over a mailbox with her friends."
  • Rainnwilson_theoffice_s2_240Creepiest Dwight moment ever? I'm hard-pressed to think of something worse than his description of the endless variations of barnyard sex.
  • Angela's utter inability to say "I'm sorry."
  • Every last word of Michael's apology video, but especially "our embarrassing watermark boner" and "escapegoat."
  • The return of Nice Guy Jim, helping Andy forget his underage girlfriend.
  • And, finally, Dwight's payback imitation of Jim just before the end credits. Nice bookend.

That's my list. What's yours?