'Once Upon a Time' recap: Bibbidi Bobbidi Botch

once-upon-a-time-cast.jpgEnchanted Forest: Ella's step-step sisters swan off to the ball leaving their cinder-covered abuse victim home alone, but not for long. Her fairy godmother appears, ready to magically right this wrongest of wrongs, when POOF... she is killed by Rumpelstiltskin! Rumpy convinces Ella that the fairy godmother's gifts wouldn't have been all that, because all magic comes with a price. He manipulates her into entering an agreement with him, so that she can attend the ball, and has her sign on the dotted line of a contract so long she doesn't even bother to read it. He magics up her beautiful blue ball gown and her glass slippers -- glass, because "...every story needs a memorable detail."

Prince Thomas falls in love with Ella. They marry. Snow and Charming attend a royal ball at Thomas's castle. Snow congratulates Ella on bettering her life, and I throw up a little in my mouth, because she did so over the ashes, not of her step-mother's hearth, but her slain fairy godmother. More on that in the full recap, I promise. Anyhow, Rumpy crashes the ball. He reminds Ella of their deal -- which will only be settled when she gives birth to the baby growing in her belly and surrenders the child to him.

Ella is going to run away, but when Thomas finds her packing, she confesses her situation and how she landed in it. His response? "Magic may have brought us together, but it didn't create this love." Aw. With Charming's help, the expectant parents scheme to trick Rumpy. Ella lies to Rumpy that she is expecting twins, and that she'll give both to him, provided he agrees to a new contract in which he will fix the problems in Thomas's kingdom (poverty, poor soil, dead crops, yada yada). Lies aside, the devil isn't in the contractual details; it's in the pen. Ella hands Rumpy a red quill with which to sign the contract -- an enchanted red quill. Once he uses it to sign the contract, he is magically imprisoned, but the magical price seems to be that Thomas disappears. Rumpy threatens that Ella won't get him back, until she surrenders her child. "In this world, or the next, Cinderella!"