'One Tree Hill': Clay sees dead people

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This week on " One Tree Hill": Clay pulls a Haley Joel Osment, Renee takes a lie detector test on live television and Quinn continues to be unbelievably boring.

This entire episode revolves around Renee's visit to Dan's talk show to tell all about her supposed tryst with Nathan. Dan flat-out tells Renee he thinks she's telling the truth and wants to help her prove it by giving her a lie-detector test live onstage, just like that FOX reality show whose title I can't recall! (Dan's show is live, by the way? Who is he, Oprah?) Once Renee is all strapped in, Dan asks her a series of questions, and then hits her with the big one: is Nathan the father of her unborn child? She says yes, and the machine says she's telling the truth. RUH ROH! However...Dan then AWESOMELY foils the lie detector test by strapping in himself and proving you can fool the test by simply believing in what you are saying. He then pulls out still photos of Renee's face during the lie detector test and dissects them to prove she is lying, just like that other FOX show Lie to Me! (Obviously someone on this show is obsessed with FOX shows about lying. And someone in the programming department at FOX is obsessed with lying in general. But I digress.) Renee finally tells the truth and says she never had sex with Nathan. Well played, Dan Scott. Predictable, but well played.

Now, the question is: who from the party IS her baby daddy? Considering all of Clay's hand-wringing about how wasted both he and Nathan were that night, I'm going with Clay as the culprit. You savvy commenters pegged this one from the beginning, and I'm definitely starting to agree.

Clay's imaginary friend Sarah is still hanging around this week. Through flashback, we learn they were in love, had what seemed like the perfect relationship, and she even went so far as to encourage him to be a stand-up man in his career and only represent good, moral athletes. She's so obviously dead, you guys. No one this perfect is allowed to live on a TV show. It's, like, in the handbook they give you when you join the WGA or something. Despite her impending doom, I very much enjoy Sarah and Clay's scenes together as the actors have a great, easy chemistry. It's too bad the inevitable comes and we watch her die while drinking grape Kool Aid. The ghost-of-Sarah encourages Clay to move on, specifically with Quinn, but when Quinn shows up at his doorstep he tells her to go back home to David.

Quinn, for her part, is reeling after David throws all of her belongings on Clay's lawn. We finally get some flashbacks of their relationship when they were happy, because I suppose they think we care about these characters. Dear Mark Schwahn: we don't. From these glimpses into the past, we learn Quinn loved David when he was an "artist," and stopped loving him when he sold out to the man. Well, that's not cliche at all! Also: stuff it, Quinn. Maybe having enough money to have a car and a big house makes David happy. That doesn't make him a horrible person. You don't live in the musical Rent. Being poor is certainly romantic in your head, but it's really only romantic in real life once you have some money and can afford to reminisce about it.

Brooke and Julian are at a crossroads this week because although Brooke fired Alex from her advertising campaign, Julian is still working with her on the script. Oh, for goodness sake, Brooke. Grow up and trust someone for once. The whole situation stems from Brooke's insecurity that Julian doesn't want to marry her, which turns out to be unfounded. Brooke confesses the moment from the season premiere where she wrote "Marry Me" in the sand at the beach but let it wash away because Julian took the producing job in New Zealand. When he asks her if she still feels the same way, she says she isn't sure. Aw, Brooke. Julian apologizes for not knowing and for hurting her feelings, and he is officially an awesome boyfriend. Awesome boyfriends apologize even when they don't have a specific thing to apologize for! Snap him up for good, Brooke! Julian assuages her fears by promising they'll be together forever, so they don't need to rush into anything. Aw, again. He really is my favorite Brooke boyfriend ever.


Random thoughts:
  • Haley's hair looks so much nicer straight like this week than the wavy mess she's been sporting thus far this season.
  • I really like Clay's imaginary friend, especially since I've finally realized who she is: Jody from Center Stage! I love that movie! I can't believe I didn't recognize her sooner.
  • I didn't quite understand the "It takes a con to know a con" scene with Rachel caressing Dan's chest hair, possibly because I was too busy throwing up in my mouth. Did Dan have an open heart surgery scar? Are they implying he is lying to his audience by saying he's alive despite not getting a heart transplant when he actually DID get one? Considering he's a psychotic murderer, I don't think this is even close to the most horrible thing he's done.
  • Love the Avett Brothers song at the end! Good to see them getting some play.

Favorite quotes:
  • "I murdered his uncle, among other things." - Dan, on why Nathan hates him

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