'Parks and Recreation': Nick Offerman wins Reddit with his Ask Me Anything

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nick-offerman-parks-and-rec-vert.jpg "Parks and Recreation" star Nick Offerman took part in an "Ask Me Anything" session on Reddit Friday (Aug. 31), and it was glorious.

You can read the whole thing here -- give yourself ample time, because Offerman answered dozens of questions from the site's users -- but we've collected some of Offerman's best responses.

One thing you won't see: A positive mention of Jerry Gergich/ Jim O'Heir, in keeping with the "Parks and Rec" staff's general disdain for the character.

PICS: Stache-off! Ron Swanson vs. the world

(It's OK, though: O'Heir had his own AMA recently.)

The best of Offerman's AMA:

On whether anything about him is "drastically different" from Ron Swanson: "I wouldn't call it drastic, but my penis is 5/8" larger than Ron's, in both length AND breadth, but it is held that he wields his with greater aplomb."

On what he's building in the latest "Nick Offerman from 'Parks and Recreation' Reads Tweets from Young Female Celebrities" bit on "Conan": "I'm building character, young man. Watch it in slo-mo, you can see my hit points accumulate. And yes, that Forstner bit on the drill press is vorpal. Carbon Steel plus one, my b****es."

On when he met Amy Poehler and what she's like in real life: "I met Amy in the early '90s and she is like a superhero mixed with both Coach and Tammie [sic] Taylor from 'FNL,' as well as Tim Riggins and a little Landry."

On the appeal of woodworking: "1) When you flood your finished wood with oil, and the grain, color and figure jump out like a visual lung-full of opium smoke (so I've read). 2) When the piece you have wrought comes into use. The canoe, the table, the canoe paddle, the pipe, the cribbage board.... when you rest your steak and your whiskey upon the table you have made, you feel pretty goddamn tall for keeping those treats off the ground."

His favorite thing about each of his castmates:
  • Amy - Her ability to combine mischief with leadership and generosity of spirit.
  • Adam - His sweet, gumdrop caboose.
  • Pratt - Best personality ever, like a golden lab meets Don Knotts. Also a fine backside.
  • Rashida - Incredibly well-adjusted and lovely for having been bitten by Michael Jackson's monkey as a child. Not a euphemism.
  • Aziz - He can say anything in the most hilarious way - also keepin' them buns tight.
  • Aubrey - She is beautiful and wonderful - not evil, don't be ridiculous.
  • Rob - A champion in every way, super funny - wouldn't mind a tad more junk in his trunk.
  • Retta - Could rule the world if she so chose. DISCERNING. Beautiful.

Photo/Video credit: NBC