'Parks and Recreation' Season 5 finale: Who is pregnant?
At the start of tonight's episode, the entire parks department was gathered was Ron's ( Nick Offerman) cabin to brainstorm for the upcoming Pawnee Founder's Week. Returning to retrieve a sweatshirt he left behind, Andy ( Chris Pratt) discovered a positive pregnancy test in the trash (along with his sweatshirt, which he threw away, naturally). Remembering that Ann ( Rashida Jones) has been trying to get pregnant, Leslie turned down a beer at the cabin, and Mona Lisa ( Jenny Slate) vomited behind a tree, the discovery him off on a Burt Macklin quest to determine who was pregnant.
His first interrogation? Ann, who's not and isn't totally pleased that one of her friends got pregnant before her. She teams up with Andy to unveil who the test belongs to. Together, they confront Donna ( Retta) next. She quickly shuts them down, saying she's a grown woman and knows how to take care of herself. (After all, she does have a nearly paid-off condo in Seattle because she "likes the rain and the fish markets.")
Andy and Ann get the bright idea to confront Leslie next, in a moment that couldn't have been timed any worse. While Leslie's defending herself against the various sex-related charges being levied against her during the town council meeting, they barge in, with Andy yelling, "Leslie, are you pregnant? Did you or did you not leave this positive pregnancy test in a dumpster in the woods? ... Hey, everybody!" Horrified, Leslie immediately says no, removing herself from the list of suspects.
That leaves only Mona Lisa and April ( Aubrey Plaza) as the possible moms-to-be. With Andy already ruling his wife out, he and Ann break the news to Tom first. Upon learning that the test was made by Womb There It Is ("That's her brand"), Tom laments, "I'm gonna have a baby with Jean-Ralphio's sister! Oh God, what have I done -- like, to humanity?"
But when Tom confronts Mona Lisa (in front of Jean-Ralphio (Ben Schwartz), natch), she tells him there's no way. "Do you know how many pills I take, birth control or otherwise? There is no way I could be pregnant with a human baby."
Ann tells Andy there's only one other person it can be, and his realization that it must be his wife was hilarious: "April? No, she would've told me. Besides, the math doesn't add up. We only have sex every single day, and since she's the only one that we haven't talked to, it has to be hers. Oh my God."
After finding April to reassure her they'll be fine, she tells him that she's not pregnant, reminding him of their plan to want to wait until they're 50 and adopt a set of creepy adult twins from Romania. Oh April, never change.
So, who's got the bun in the oven? The show held out until the tag, with Andy and Ron in his office, Ron explaining that his only concern that all things in his life remain the same. As Andy remembers to tell him about the positive pregnancy test found on his property, his girlfriend Diane (recurring guest star Lucy Lawless) enters the office, telling Ron they need to talk.
That's right, everyone: Ron Swanson is going to be a father. The show needs a renewal just for that storyline alone.
Were you surprised by the pregnancy reveal?
-April's favorite facts about Pawnee? "Most murders per capita, the guillotine was invented here, City Hall was run by the Walrus Mafia."
-"Due to a traffic misunderstanding, the prettiest pig beauty pageant has been replace by a pork rib barbecue competition ... Oh, no." - Chris, who was The Nipple King in the parade.
-During the year that Leslie's been in office, Pawnee raccoon attacks have decreased. "People can feel safe in parks, grocery stores and hospitals." Yikes.
-"People checking into the E.R. for ingesting a whole candy wrapper is down 40 percent." Oh Pawnee, you gluttonous bunch of weirdos.
-"This feels strangely personal. Maybe it's because they're standing up, saying how much they hate me -- as a person." - Leslie, who clearly wasn't expecting the vitriol
-The pornos Brandi Maxxxx has appeared in throughout the last year? "'The Incredible Burt Wonderbone,' 'A Good Guy To Lay Hard' and 'Argo.' I had a small part in 'Argo' -- as well as the porn version, 'Our Goo.'"
-"It's not like I'm some kind of sex-crazed maniac or anything." - Leslie, to the town, just before Andy accuses her of leaving a positive pregnancy test in the woods.
-"Parades and your butt, my two vices." - Leslie, to Ben. Amen, sister.
-"As I've known about you ... for the last 20 seconds ... this is your dream." - Andy, to April after learning she was accepted into veterinary school in Wilmington.
-"It's called capitalism, Mr. Haverford, and you are about to get a free lesson, only this free lesson is going to cost you." "So, it's not free...?"