'Person of Interest' recap: Choose Your Own Caviezel

person-of-interest-cbs-tv-show.jpgWe start out with Nude Caviezel in love. Okay, wait, this isn't the show I signed up for. Not that I'm complaining or anything... But he loses the woman he's with, and becomes shaggy Jesus Caviezel (a la The Passion of the Christ), on a subway in New York. He basically karate chops a very deserving group of privileged punks on the subway, and ends up at the police department talking to Taraji P. Henson. When she heads to the lab to learn that Jesus's fingerprints have been found at half a dozen crime scenes and that there are open warrants for him in four countries, some bigwig lawyer comes in and busts him out. He wonders who's picking up the tab, and the lawyer and some other suits take him directly to Ben Linus.

Ben calls Jesus "Mr. Reese" (but since his brute strength and power must come from God, I'm sticking with Jesus), but promises not tell anyone everything he knows about him: the work he used to do for the government, the doubts he came to have about that work, that the government and everyone else thinks he's dead, that he's been trying to drink himself to death and even contemplating more efficient ways. Ben's name is "Mr. Finch." He wants to give Jesus a purpose. And by "purpose," he means "job." Finch tells Jesus about all the people who die every day in New York City, and wonders: What if they could stop murders -- not the ones in the heat of the moment, but the ones that are planned days and weeks in advance? Finch shows Jesus a woman named Diane Hanson, who's on his list of people about to be involved in a crime. He doesn't know if she's the victim or perpetrator; all he knows is she's involved and that Jesus must follow her to stop it from happening. So, yes, he's asking creepy-looking Jesus Caviezel to follow a cute young thing (Natalie Zea). Jesus refuses this tempting offer, kicks Finch's suits' asses and leaves.

He goes back to a hotel room (a fairly nice one considering his status as a homeless drunk) and shaves himself into Sexy Caviezel. Then he drinks himself to sleep and the phone rings. It's Finch -- duh! -- who lures him back with promises of being able to save people, like he couldn't do with his "friend," Jessica (the woman he was Nude Caviezel with in the opening). He takes Jesus to his secret lair and shows him his list of Social Security numbers (that's all he gets), but won't give him any more information.