'Pretty Little Liars' recap: "Everyone She Plays With Dies."

pretty-little-liars-season-3.jpgThe episode starts with Emily shell-shocked and Hanna crying like mad, but you don't see who the casualty or casualties are really, so it's kind of on your mind the whole time. Ditto this gun Caleb shows up with in the first act, because you know what they say: Never give a werewolf a gun without at least a ten-day waiting period, or it'll go off in the last act. Mostly what Hanna does all episode before whatever happens is, be awesome.

Garrett's trial is about to start for that murder he didn't commit, which means the entire country's journalists only care about Emily, a teenage girl who dated a murder victim for about a minute, in between rehab stints and manic redecorating episodes. Pam is like, "It's so hard being the First Lady of Dead Girls, but are you sure going to some isolated cabin somewhere -- with that guy who is clearly not Maya's cousin -- is a good call? You know, since you're always getting murdered?"

Emily's like, "I don't have any other friends right now, because my friends are bitches who keep reminding me of how my girlfriend keeps trying to murder and/or sexually assault me every day of her life, so yes." And with that, it is done. Of course once she gets there, she remembers what show she's on, and before you know it he's admitting (duh) to being the stalker and to having cooked up some elaborate plan to hurt Emily for taking Maya away from him by stabbing Paige -- whom he just happens to already have tied up in the cabin they came to, together -- to death. He's very scary, it's well done.