'Rake' EP Peter Tolan recalls Greg Kinnear's 'hooker' in journal entries

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While the "Rake" session at the TCA 2014 winter press tour was filled with information about the upcoming FOX dramedy, the best moment during the event wasn't serious or informational at all. 

Executive producer Peter Tolan ("Rescue Me"), who has been a consistently entertaining presence at past TCA events, had a hilarious prepared bit to poke fun at what he was and wasn't supposed to discuss during the panel.

He said FOX's publicity department contacted him a month ago with a list of what the network didn't want him to bring up. Tolan didn't take too well to that mandate, and his response was priceless.

It was scathing and tongue-in-cheek and fantastic, and if it's any indication of what viewers can expect from "Rake," then they are in for a treat. Here is the transcription of Tolan reading from his "journal" about the events that happened on set in its entirety. Enjoy.

QUESTION: Hi. Question for Mr. Tolan. Over the past few years you've held court here frequently and spoken with profane delight about the pleasures of working away from the broadcast networks. Can you talk a little bit about reentering this, whether you had any trepidations and how you're finding the return?

PETER TOLAN: I'm glad you asked me that question.


TOLAN: Thank you. I it is different, and I'm going to illustrate it just because I'm a little annoyed because even to come here today, about a month ago, maybe a little bit more, I got a note, an email, from FOX publicity about what to talk about here and what not to talk about. I was so upset I actually wrote about it in my journal, which I brought with me.

MICHAEL WIMER ["Rake" EP]: Please! Please! Please!

TOLAN: I'm going to read this. Some of this is about the show. Some of it is personal, but I'll give you an idea of how upset I was at the time.

September 16th, first day of shooting for "Rake." [Greg] Kinnear showed up drunk with a hooker named Tammy on his arm, claiming it was part of his process. After the first shot, he demanded we give Tammy a producer credit. Rather than upset him, we agreed, but her pimp pushed for co EP, so now she's a f***ing co-EP.

September 20th, call from [FOX Entertainment chairman] Kevin Reilly. He feels "Rake" will be a better fit on FOX if one of our main characters has no head. No idea how to respond, but cut most of John Ortiz's lines and hope this will address at least the spirit of the note.

October 1st, Peter Duncan [creator of the show "Rake" is based on] still speaking Australian. Can't understand a f***ing word.

October 11th, Tammy no longer with us. Got an overall at 20th [Century Fox]. Sold her first pitch to ABC, an hour called "Maniacal, Murdering Whores."

October 25th, why is Lena Dunham naked all the time on "Girls"? I don't get it.

November 4th, good news and bad news from Tammy. The bad news, ABC didn't like her "Maniacal, Murdering Whores" script. The good news, they're airing the title for 13 weeks starting next March.

November 12th, dinner at [CBS CEO] Les Moonves' house.

November 15th, dinner at Les Moonves' house.

November 20th, dinner at Les Moonves' house.

December 1st, told Les Moonves I'm tired of serving dinner at his goddamn house. Hire a f***ing butler.

OK. This is it. December 10th, really ticked off. Apparently the people at FOX publicity think I'm a child. They sent an e-mail today about the TCAs next month, which included, get this, a list of things not to be discussed. Top of the list, no surprise, "Dads."

QUESTION: I just have a quick follow up. Could you please state for the record that I was not paid to ask you the previous question?

TOLAN: It was too good. Thank you. God bless you.

"Rake" premieres Thursday, Jan. 23 at 9 p.m. ET on FOX.

Photo/Video credit: Getty Images