'Real Housewives of New Jersey': Dina says sayonara
Guilty ones run
We pick up right where the last episode left off - Dina and Danielle are going at it at Chakra. As all the patrons watch, Dina keeps trying to say her piece, but Danielle continually twists her words. At the end Dina is standing, poised to leave, and she tells Danielle she's crazy. Oh, how the truth stings! That sets Danielle off. She begins to quiver and yell, "Don't you ever call me crazy. Ever. Ever." Nuts. Then as Dina leaves, Danielle de-evolves (is that a word?) into a hurt kid on the playground, where the only thing she can make fun of is Dina's "fake" hair. As if Danielle's extensions were real. Later, she calls her ex-felons over and tells them how she never would have come if she knew Dina only wanted to talk about herself. This is my favorite line - Danielle says, "The guilty ones always run." This coming from a women with her criminal background and who changed her name? Nice.
Jacqueline, Caroline and Teresa take their families out to a farm and Jacqueline slips when she groups Danielle into a list of farm animals in front of her son. She tries to tell him that it's not OK to make fun of others, but it's a little late for the lesson. At the farm, the guys invited Jacqueline's daughter Ashley's boyfriend, Derek, to poker night, so they can "haze" him.
She's not sane
Later, Dina calls a meeting with Jacqueline and Caroline to tell them what went down with Danielle. Caroline, of course, revels in being right and she doesn't want to say I told you so to Dina's face, but she does during her interview.
Meanwhile, Danielle has called her second-rate housewife friends (including the despicable Kim G.) together to tell them what went down. Remarkably, she tells pretty much the truth about the meeting with the typical Danielle embellishments. I just love when Danielle has free reign to interpret things in her overly-dramatic way. Of course, all her D-list friends hackle like hens as she tells the story. Then [cough, cough] Danielle brings out her old lady glasses and reads an email that Dina sent her that morning. Interspersed, we see Dina in interview reading to the cameras, as well.
Kim G., double agent
God help me if Kim G. isn't the most duplicitous person I've ever seen on reality TV. She comes over to Jacqueline's place to pump her for information. What a busy body! It's clear that Kim G. is playing both sides. I'm fine with her playing her reindeer games when it comes to pitting Danielle against the other housewives. I draw the line at the kids. So, when the conversation moved to Ashley and her texts, I was boiling. If you remember in the last episode, Kim encouraged Danielle to call the police and have Ashley arrested. Yet, when she talked to Jacqueline, she lied and said she told Danielle to leave it alone. What is Kim's deal? She enrages me.
Danielle's first sex tape
Danielle goes over to see her D-list friends and they all start talking about Danielle's dating life. According to Danielle, the last person she dated was Steve (from Season 1, who she met at a party Teresa's husband brought her to). Apparently, she swears that Steve videotaped them having sex (with hidden cameras, no less) and tried to sell them. She says that has caused her to cover up more and a bit fearful about dating men. We don't know how she'll explain tape #2, which reportedly has her having sex with a different man right after shooting Season 1. Maybe she'll come up with something for that in a later episode.
Jacqueline's husband Chris and Caroline's son, Albie, are shopping for poker night snacks when they start talking about Ashley's boyfriend, Derek, and how they'll "initiate" him. Ashley and Jacqueline both say that crazy things happen on poker night and Ashley is a bit worried for Derek.
It turns out Derek got off scot free. Other drama totally saved him from being hazed as the guys would have liked. First, Jacqueline called Steve out to tell him the sex tapes he made of Danielle disgusted her. He told her that the footage was mostly Danielle taping herself masturbating, which she sent to him. He also said that he never tried to sell them and Danielle dropped the case, because she had no case.
After that cleared up, Jacqueline and Ashley get into a spat. Jacqueline said that Ashley looked like her grandma when she was young. Apparently, Grandma is a big lady and Ashley took offense. The fight moved into the room where the guys were and when Ashley began to mouth off, Jacqueline gave her the boot. Derek stayed behind and won some man points for doing so. I'm glad they didn't mess around with him too badly, since I'm sure he was going to get it that night from Ashley for not following her out.
Pole dancing for Danielle: Like riding a bike
In her fake search for sexy after "the wounds" that Steve left with the whole sex tape fiasco, the D-List girls and the ex-felons take Danielle out to learn how to pole dance. Of course, Kim G. was there to look dumb and gross with too few articles of clothing on as she tried to work the pole. Instead she couldn't get up the pole and we saw her g-string more than I'd like to say. There really should be a no g-string after age 60 rule. When Danielle got up there, she was a natural. I'm so glad she got over her fear of being sexy in time to show America how to lie on the floor spread eagle. Thank you, Bravo. I may never be able to get that image out of my head.
Dina hits the road
After all that has happened with Danielle, Dina has decided to leave the show. She knew it would be the only real way to cut Danielle out of her life completely. I totally respect her for doing so.
How did you feel about Dina's goodbye?
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Photo credit: Bravo