'Real Housewives of New York City': Jill fight
LuAnn cougars out
Now living in The Hamptons, LuAnn is coming into the city with her daughter, Victoria. Victoria brought up Kelly's Playboy shoot and says she wouldn't have a problem with the countess posing now that she's older, but she wonders about Kelly's young daughters. Then Victoria mentions that her friends think LuAnn is hot and... Kelly, who? The Countess wanted to hear all about the teen crushes on her. When she finally got over that, LuAnn says in her interview that she would consider Playboy, but she hasn't been asked. Hint. Hint.
Playboy and kids don't mix
Next, we join Kelly as she tries to discuss Playboy with her young daughters. They really don't seem to be into talking about it and they've definitely inherited Kelly's confusing style of verbal expression.
Naturally Thin comedy tour
Bethenny is teaching at The Learning Annex and lecturing from her book, "Naturally Thin." The class seems pretty fun, actually. She definitely has some jokes.
Back at Jill's home, Jill's husband, Bobby, gets a clean bill of health from his doctor and Jill is brought to tears with happiness. Mazel, Jill. I'm very happy for you.
Kelly's Playboy spread
Oh. My. God. I don't know if I'm ready to watch Kelly pose for her playboy pictures. She's really quite happy and honored that they asked her. I have to say that at 41 years old, she should be proud of herself.
By the book
At the Fashion Night Out party hosted by LuAnn, Jill immediately launches into a whole lot of namedropping. I've never been so happy to see Alex and Simon in my life. But then, Jill meets Alex's friend, a rather interestingly dressed gay. And I'm sorry, Team Jill, but she's being really rude to him about his clothing. Then, out of nowhere, Kelly pops up and tells Alex her kids are cute. Jill decides to bring up an incident (which, by the way, isn't her story, but LuAnn's to tell) in which Alex's small son crawled up some guy's leg in The Hamptons. It just came off mean-spirited to me, because she really just wanted to give a little dig to Alex regarding her parenting book.
They then dug for dirt on Ramona's party, but Alex, once again showing some class like in the last episode, didn't give them any. She also once again declared herself the only one who was currently friends with everyone. Then, Jill brings up Kelly's Playboy shoot, once again talking it up when Kelly is around, then talking down about it in her interviews. Alex says she's fine with anyone doing nudity. In her interview, she brought up how harshly she was judged by the other housewives when nude pictures of her leaked on the web. She was shocked by Jill and LuAnn's acceptance of Kelly posing semi-nude.
Jill's psychic or sidekick?
Later, Jill invites LuAnn to meet her psychic. She freaks LuAnn out by correctly describing a guy she has her eye on as her next lover. Jill wants the psychic to talk about Bethenny. The psychic says Bethenny is going through the greatest time in her life, but she can't really enjoy it without the people that got her there in the first place. Jill, pay the lady.
Then, Jill decides to finally share the infamous "get a hobby" voice message from Bethenny. I'm sure that's not the psychic's first time hearing that message. I honestly believe that the "get a hobby" thing really touched a nerve in Jill, because she saw some truth in it. Really, Jill? You kept this voice message for months?
His friends, her jokes
It's Jason's birthday! He and Bethenny decide to celebrate it at the same place they met. Kind of cute that he tried to reenact the very moment he noticed her. Bethenny looks drop dead in that black and white gauze dress. Hilarious when Bethenny imitated his friend with the deep New York (?) accent. She then admits that she missed Jill, which was touching.
At the Legends Ball, an event honoring Hall of Fame tennis players, Jill followed the sound of high-toned screeches to Ramona and Mario. Jill decided to ask Mario why he didn't just apologize to LuAnn for his "count-less" comment. He sees no reason for that and Jill has concluded he's just an a**.
Kicking a dead horse
Jill and Kelly are getting closer, so Kelly invited Jill to her home. I think it's kind of cool that Kelly has a big horse sculpture in her living room. It's even cooler that she let Jill sit on it. Probably the funniest sight I've seen in a while: Jill talking to Kelly as she sat atop a fake life sized horse. She then begins to grill Kelly on which Playboy anniversary she's posing for, saying that Playboy celebrates anniversaries for just about anything. Is she trying to belittle what Kelly believes is a great honor? Kelly just wants her to drop it.
The new underdog?
Later, we join Simon and Alex at their home. Alex brings up LuAnn and Jill's story about Francois crawling up some guy's leg. She was deservedly insulted. They then bring up why they think Jill has adopted LuAnn. Could it be that since her divorce, LuAnn is the new underdog?
Jill's big line
At the Jill Stuart fashion show, LuAnn and Jill have run into Bethenny. It's awkward, but they do the cordial hello kisses and Jill tells Bethenny she looks beautiful. After she walks away, Jill expresses her disbelief that Bethenny acted as if nothing happened. When Kelly arrived, she also was very cordial to Bethenny. During the show, Bethenny says that she can feel Jill's anger from two seats away. Jill said that she couldn't even remember when they were friends and that she was having a slight anxiety attack. When the show is over, Bethenny tells Jill that she has heard from everyone but her that she's upset with her. Then, Jill spews back the line she has been practicing for months for this very occasion, I'm sure. She tells Bethenny, "You told me to get a hobby, so I did." Boom!
Then, just as things were getting good and steamed, Kelly had to ruin the fun and break it up. Thanks a lot, "Kell-joy." Then, LuAnn began laying into Bethenny about the "obnoxious message" and Bethenny was feeling attacked from all sides. They all composed themselves enough to say goodbye, but obviously there's much left to be said.
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