'Real Housewives of New York City' reunion recap: Off with LuAnn and Carole's heads!
After years of enduring LuAnn's imperious, ill-mannered (yep, we said it) condescension, it was truly gratifying to see her taken down by not only the plebeians Ramona Singer and Sonja Morgan but also the princess herself, Carole Radziwill. (Whom we suspect was hired by Bravo specifically to dethrone LuAnn.)
But Carole too was called out by her co-stars for saving her catty quips for her "interviews" (aka "confessionals") instead of confronting the women directly. LuAnn, who knows from royalty, sniffed, "That's not the kind of princess that I know."
It looks like they are saving the really juicy stuff (like LuAnn's one-night-stand with a Johnny Depp pirate lookalike) for next week, but here a sampling of part one's morsels:
LuAnn doesn't know what "holla" means. Really? How much do you wanna bet she still greets fellow "American Indians" with "how"?
Carole snapped to LuAnn, "You need to shut up." And LuAnn did. Holla, Carole!
Battle Royal: Carole smacked LuAnn's flaunting of her title (even scolding Bethenny once for not using it), by pointing out: "If I married a doctor, I wouldn't call myself doctor. If I married a butcher...I'm not the butcher's wife. I'm pretty independent." LuAnn then retorted that she hasn't used "the Countess" all season, and asked Andy Cohen for confirmation. Congratulations?
Friend Jumping: Obviously LuAnn neglected to include a chapter in her book "Class With the Countess" on the proper etiquette for borrowing designer dresses. Carole's harping on the subject is just silly and beneath the decorum of a princess.
The Trouble With Harry: It seems that more than half the cast has
Avivaphobia: Aviva finally shut up about her phobias and ceaseless stories of being wronged by the other blondes (fact: we fast-forwarded through most of her scenes in the second half of the season) to share a touching story about losing her leg. That explains her anxieties, but not why we have to hear about them ad nauseam.
Cheers, Mate: Heather Thomson and Ramona sort of apologize to each other and Heather says that if she were planning the London trip today, she'd invite Ramona.
Pot, Meet Kettle: Both Ramona and LuAnn have a lifetime membership in the Throw People Under the Bus Club. And it's Heather's turn to smack down LuAnn, calling her out for "stirring the pot" with Aviva and her St. Barts Unwelcome Party.
Picking Up the Trash: Aviva apologizes "profusely" for her vicious attack on Ramona and Sonja, especially for calling them trailer trash. Ramona says she only showed remorse after the viewers turned on her. Mr. Aviva also takes heat for referring to Ramona and Sonja as "overweight girls gone wild," and Aviva saying "he'd rather drink paint" than hanging around "this group of pent-up cougars." At least Aviva acknowledges that she became "completely unhinged."
Coming Up: The man, the myth, the pirate! LuAnn is finally called to account for sleeping with Tomas and how her lapse "made Jacques suffer." Quel dommage!
The second part of "The Real Housewives of New York City" reunion airs Monday, Oct. 15 at 9 p.m.