'Ringer' recap: Bulletproof

ringer-sarah-michelle-gellar-320.jpgWell, my bouncy little Ringlets, how does one sum up a bowl of spaghetti? For the recaplet, let's just hit the highlights.

Why-Oh-Why, Wyoming: Remember, at the root of this whole mess is the murder of Bridget's stripper-pal, Shaylene Briggs. Bridget wasn't the only one close to Shaylene. Agent Guyliner was her lover! At first, she was just his C.I. (confidential informant). He persuaded her to go undercover at Macawi's strip club, and she did, but she did a little time under Guyliner's covers too, and he fell in love with her. Guyliner tried to get Shaylene to quit working at Macawi's -- he even proposed they run away together. Being another hooker with a heart of gold, Shaylene didn't want Guyliner to sacrifice his career for her, so she asked that he give her one more shot of getting evidence against Macawi. Macawi then dismembered Shaylene. When Guyliner identified her body...parts, he learned Shaylene was a month pregnant. It's strongly implied Guyliner is the baby daddy, but I'll hit that in the weecap. Anyhow, Guyliner's back in Wyoming, but there's now an ATF agent in charge of a joint ATF/FBI task force and he's harshing Guyliner's mellow.

Paris: Tyler Boytoy is not only too stupid to live; he's too sweet to live. He's so concerned about protecting Shiv and the baby (he doesn't know Shiv's expecting twins), that he steals Shiv's flash drive containing evidence against Martin/Charles and contacts the SEC.

Olivia finds this out from her person inside the SEC, and orders Tyler to come to New York. The writers decide to make Andrew look worse than he's ever possibly going to turn out to be, and the lighting and camera crews play along for good measure. Seriously, Show, why didn't you just put him at a campfire and have him hold a flashlight under his chin? Anyhow, Andrew tells Olivia to do whatever it takes to stop Tyler from turning on them. Olivia then tells Andrew that Malcolm is the one who dug up evidence of their Ponzi scheme, and must have been Bridget-as-Shiv's informant. Andrew is not amused.