'Rock of Love 2': 9. Your mama don't dance
Last week we met the new....ladies (?) of Rock of Love 2. We also met Courtney's addiction as she drank enough to pass out before the first elimination and remain unconscious not only while she got the boot, but into the next morning. When she wakes, Peyton tells her that her tour ended last night and Courtney begins to pack. Now, if Courtney were a rational girl, she would get incredibly red in the face and hurry out of there as quickly and quietly as possible. Instead she philosophizes by camera talking that she is a nice girl, a fun girl, and "also a black out drunk girl and if that's not what he's looking for then maybe I'm better off". AA. That's all I'm going say.
Inna and Sara chat as they get ready to face the day and Sara admits that she came on the show on a dare for her friends. Inna passes the info on to Aubrey, "because she has a big mouth". It seems Inna is this season's Heather! Aubrey falls for it and runs off the find Brett and tell him all about Sara. Brett decides to think it over while sending the girls their first challenge. Angelique reads the note, and when VH1 dubs her phonetically, I have to chuckle. The girls figure the challenge is a talent showcase. How they got that idea form "shake it a little, shake it a lot", I don't know. They all start working on routines but when Brett shows up they find out that in actuality they will competing in 30 second peep shows and if Brett likes them, he can put a token in a box and they will get another 15 seconds. Surprisingly, this doesn't seem to change any of the girls previous routines, despite the extra 20 minutes they are given to finish their routines. I should probably be thankful for that.
Thus, as the Peeping-Talent-Show gets going, we see Aubrey attempt to play the drums without employing anything resembling a sense of rhythm, Destiny perform Kung Fu moves, and Korie holds up a sign that says - I kid thee not - "Merry Me". Finally, proof that ignorance is bliss! Most of the girls seem to have little in the way of actual talent, unless ironing is a talent...but when Peyton takes the....box....and starts playing a guitar and singing in a whiskey and cigarette voice, she seems incredible. Then again, a monkey on a kazoo would seem incredible after watching Angelique press her plastic parts against the glass. Some of the girls get tokens, but in the end the winners are Peyton, Daisy and Ambre.
After the winners are announced, Brett adds that none of the girls should go to bed early because he's ready to have fun, but the VIP girls all go straight to bed. Which annoys Brett, but instead of actually doing anything about it he pulls out a guitar and plays Every Rose has it's Thorn while the girls watch. Wild and crazy bunch. Simmering about the VIPs sleeping, Brett decides that after his date he wants to hold an old school dance competition. Then he goes to bed after sending Peyton and the other girls to wake the VIPs and inform them of the upcoming dance off. Which sends the VIPs off in the Waaaaaaahhhmbulance before they go back to sleep.
The next morning, John wakes the house and confirms that VIPs aren't safe and everyone should attend house events before giving the winners a note from Brett. The note hints hat they should be ready for an all terrain day and they arrive to a desert course with 4 wheelers. Daisy camera talks that she's worried about losing a leg or looking like an idiot and I am amused that it's likely already too late for one of those. The ride around in the dirt for awhile and then go to a picnic table lunch spread, where Payton, Daisy and Brett all talk about music and Ambre...eats. But apparently the meek shall inherit, because Brett decides to spend his alone time with the quiet one. Ambre opens up by admitting that she likes working out, hanging out with friends or staying at home. How about breathing, sleeping and doing the bare minimum required to be categorized as a living being? Brett makes out with her, I suppose to keep himself from nodding off, but later admit she may be the best kisser he ever encountered. Which I am sure says something phenomenal.
Back at the house, the VIPs decide to make a card to apologize to Brett, while Inna and Angelique prepare the dance floor. Their work done, the try to find something else to do, so the VIPs get dressed in lingerie and wait near the front door. Angelique camera talks that she wants to "dress super sexy, like a stripper, like a slut" and I have to wonder what her upbringing was like, sadly. But her and Inna do exactly that and then sit closer to the front door. Which causes the VIPs to grab chairs and move closer still until Inna and Angelique grab chairs and sit directly in front of the VIP, who whine about being copied and dear god, I would rather go to the DMV then endure this scene any longer. So, Brett comes home, is jumped by girls with questionable hygiene, and the dance competition gets underway.
And they meant "old school" as in dance moves that are long past their prime. I have high hopes, but when the girls don't know what the Running Man, The Cabbage Patch or The Pony are, I realize I am in for disappointment. The girls aren't disappointed, however, because the three winners will receive special VIP passes that will allow them to steal Brett away from spending time with any girl(s) at any time. Also, the competition is being judged by Brett, Inna and Angelique, which means Angelique will not be dancing. My eyeballs and my bleach supply thank you, VH1. The triumphant winners are Roxy, Destiny and Daisy, but before the girls can catch their breath, they are told to get ready for elimination, where three girls will be asked to leave the house.
Elimination begins in a surprising way, as Brett calls Sara out to explain her comments from the top of the hour about being on the show because of a dare. At first she flatly denies it, then fumbles around saying that what she meant was she doubted herself before falling on the old stand by - she was taken out of context. She doesn't get any further before Inna calls her a liar and it devolves from there until Brett gets sick of it all and tells Sara that she's out of the house. It marks the first time I've ever seen a girl eliminated at the start of a ceremony, on any reality show. The rest of the ceremony goes as expected, right down to Brett picking Angelique as the last girl to stay. It had to happen, much to my chagrin, because of her trashy entertainment value. However, the best part of all is when she accepts her pass and moves in to kiss Brett, her tongue already darting out of her mouth, and he pulls away. Now, we've seen Brett make out with all manner of women, but the fact that he took a look and Angelique and said "No way" says something. That he's smarter then he seems.
Korie and Niki are both sent out, to grieve with Sara, but I don;t see how I can be expected to care about them at all when we are told to tune in next week for the return of crazy. That's right, Lacey's back!