'Rock of Love' Vegas, baby!

Jessica_rockoflove2_240 As I watch another episode of Rock of Love 2, I find myself asking some serious questions. What if Bret's endeavor to find love is satisfied? To whom will we turn for Rock of Love 3? Is Vince Neil single? And where is the RoL spin-off? Why do we not have an equivalent of New York? Dear God, could there BE an equivalent of New York? And exactly how many words are there for skank?

But let's be realistic. Few of these questions can be answered tonight. Especially not when they are all headed off, with Heather in tow, to Las Vegas. I can hardly wait to see who stumbles drunkenly into the poker room, vomits on a dealer and passes out first!

They arrive in Vegas without incident and are no sooner in their suite then Jessica and Destiney are delivered golf outfits for their date with Bret. Surprisingly, Jessica apparently played on her high school golf team, so she's excited about the outing. Though I doubt her team allowed teased out side pony tails. And frankly, I don't think the golf course in Vegas should have allowed it either because...well, it was a teased out side pony tail. Which is worse than a scrunci. Even when done with a sense of irony. Which I am not sure it was. Jessica tries to prove she has a personality, by kissing Bret after every good shot. At one point she even jumps on him rather awkwardly. This doesn't change the fact that watching golf is boring.

Back at the suite, Heather talks to Daisy and you can just tell they immediately hate each other. But I am more taken by the fact that when sitting next to Daisy, Heather looks elegant and refined. From there, Heather pulls Ambre aside and starts giving her a pep talk to bring up all of Daisy's flaws to Bret, because all he sees is her boobs. Ambre is intrigued by Heather's ideas and considers subscribing to her newsletter. Thus, when Bret returns to take Ambre and Daisy on their date, Ambre is ready to unsteady Daisy's house of cards. Or pack of lies. Or whatever.

So, it seems Daisy has continued living with her ex-boyfriend for 2 years after their relationship ended. In a one bedroom apartment. Because he doesn't have a job and she does. Ambre fakes looking confused and concerned as she asks "And, I'm sorry Daisy, what do you do?" You guessed it! She's a stripper! She also admits that she has tons of debt. Boy, she sure is a catch. Get it? Fish lips? Catch? Woo! I crack me up!

Meanwhile, back at the suite, Heather tells Destiney and Jessica that Daisy told her she had no competition in the house and she thinks she has it in the bag. For whatever reason, this makes Destiney become completely unglued. She stomps around the suite, screaming...not yelling words, just screaming...and jumping on the pool table, and basically throwing a full on kicking and flailing tantrum. Heather also tells Destiney that she doesn't think a girl who lives with her ex should be in the game at all, and Destiney decides to pursue that. Jessica just sits and watches the entire thing transpire.

When Daisy and Ambre come back to the suite, all hell breaks lose. I wish I could tell you what was said, but between Destiney shouting and stomping, Ambre screaming, Daisy whining, and all the beeping, I cannot make heads or tails of it. But it must be pretty bad, because Daisy yells, I kid thee not : "Do you know who I am? My uncle is Oscar De La Hoya!!"  Well then. Is he the cross dresser? Alleged cross dresser, I mean.

Heather gets in on the act and beans Daisy in the head with a plastic cup full of something liquid. If this were Flavor of Love, someone's weave would be getting yanked out. Daisy just rolls her eyes and pouts. John arrives to take all the girls to go up the Bret's suite, which doesn't last long. Because it doesn't take long for Destiney to start yelling at Daisy again and Daisy yells back, and Destiney throws a drink at Daisy, who by now must smell like a gin distillery. Which is probably a nice change. But Bret gets up and leaves the table and John takes all the girls out, leaving Daisy with Bret.

He asks her to come clean with him and she camera talks that she had no idea this was going to have to be so deep. Yeah, who knew having a relationship would require all this getting to know you crap? But that is when she spills that she kinda, maybe, sort of "hung out" with C.C. DeVille. Which, really, there is nothing else I can say about that, because it's just hysterical in it's own right. Bret begins to wonder if Daisy is a groupie. Gee, ya think?

By the time the elimination ceremony rolls around, almost all the girls are scared. Daisy is afraid that Bret doesn't understand her special relationship with her ex. Destiney is afraid that Bret doesn't like her because she's an angry drunk. And Jessica is afraid that Bret doesn't know her. Which is likely true. Ambre is the only one who isn't scared, as she camera talks "He has bigger fish to fry this week". But in the end, his final 3 hold no surprises. Daisy and her "bottomless pit of turmoil", Destiney and her anger issues, and Ambre and her....well, whatever, are the final 3. Jessica is sent home in tears for not being "jaded" enough.  Which I suppose means that she wasn't enough of a trainwreck.

Which means Jessica wins!