It got ugly on Tuesday's (Feb. 8) episode of "RuPaul's Drag Race" and Ru may soon need to issue a clarification for the queens who are lip-syncing for their lives after yet another physical brawl during the lip-sync battle. It should read, "Gurrrrls, you aren't literally lip-syncing for your lives."
But before we get to that frightening show of un-queenly behavior, let's review how the grapes of wrath fermented during the episode.
In the first mini challenge, the gals had to get "leotarded" and fashion some unique workout wear using colored duct tape. Yes, people, this was only the beginning of the frightening chain of events that led to The Incredible Hulk's appearance in the lip-sync-off. The plus-sized queens were forced to team up when no one else picked them for their teams. It was hard to watch even the skinny gals challenge the laws of physics to get that duct tape around their manly parts, so it was doubly hard to watch the bigger queens use twice as much tape for half the outfit. Those skinny wenches Manila and Carmen took the prize with "gay-glow" fluorescent.
That led the bigguns into a pity party. How sad was it when Delta confessed that she gets at least a letter a day telling her she's a big pig? She really shouldn't give out her mailing address.
The winners then chose their teams for the ultimate challenge: A cracked out workout video. From the beginning, this looked like an experiment in how many ways the queens can eroticize gym equipment. Let's just say that Delta's "shake and bake" move ensures that we'll never look at dumbbells the same way again.
Our favorite part? That "louder than life" fitness guru and guest judge Susan Powter's coaching during the workout videos can be described in just a few words: The campier, the better! Now, that's a woman who knows what the audience wants.
Did anyone else think that Alexis was feeling herself this week? When she took her Latin accent (which could have been a real challenge in this competition) and gave us "Modern Family's" Sofia Vergara realness, we just about fainted from laughing.
Later, RuPaul ordered the queens to show up for runway in outfits showing off their best asset. And once again, Alexis served us. She gave us head-to-toe sparkle and pronounced, "My best feature is e-very-thing." Alexis for the win!
By the way, wasn't LaToya Jackson guest judging in this episode? You could have fooled us. You think she was out-queened for airtime?
Now, here's the part where things took a strange turn. Mimi and India went head-to-head in the lip-sync for your life and things were looking pretty neck and neck until Mimi began trying to upstage India, who thought she could escape by going to the floor. Uh, uh, because Mimi followed her and enveloped in a hormonal shift that could only be described as a bad case of the "Showgirls" meets "WWE," Mimi picked up India and began to twirl her around on her shoulders! That sealed her fate and a disapproving RuPaul sent her to sashay away. Meanwhile, the pit crew breathed a sigh of relief.
Watch the completed workout videos below:
Note: Beware of frightening and provocative uses for workout equipment.
Where were you when Earthquake Mimi hit?
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