'Smallville' and speed dating, so it must be sweeps

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I don't think " Smallville" is ready for Lois and Clark as morning talk show hosts. Thankfully, by the end of tonight's action, both the on and off-screen producers agree with me.

The aforementioned dynamic duo initially is only in the tryout phase for "Good Morning Metropolis," except Clark is only there for moral support. The perky producer does indeed hire Lois, but only if Clark is her co-pilot. With great chemistry come great ratings? Apparently, they still have to prove their worth by filming separate online dating stories. Lois believes Clark's profile will attract quite the farmhand... until the blondiful Catherine appears with her Peace Corps background and her Ph.D. ambitions. Yes, the great Lois is quite flustered. Clark manages to get a snarky response in about Miss Lane's profile as well, saying she doesn't need to pad it to make herself look better.

Chloe is certainly the most cheerful we've seen her all season, even though she's being tasked with cracking the never-ending firewall protection of Tess and Castle Luthor. Just as it seems the 26th firewall will finally be the one, along comes Stuart Campbell to add a 27th firewall. Bastard. Anyway, on the 100th try, Stuart pours salt in the wounds and uploads a video to really taunt her a second time... except he didn't count on her gaining fingerprints and a complete dossier from the video. They later meet in an alley; a new alliance forged? Stay tuned.

justinhartley_smallville_290.jpgGood to know Oliver is still attending Fight Club®, but he's only there to scout out sidekicks. Enter Mia Dearden, who knows her way around a ring. That only seems to be her day job, as by night she dons a blonde wig, sexy red boots and becomes Metropolis' top girl of the night. Oliver knows where she's coming from and offers to save her in every way a person can be saved. Even keys to the Aston Martin and a new wardrobe don't initially sway her... that, and that Rick the Pimp is one mean mother. Oliver still has every intention of helping...

...but first, he has to confront his lingering feelings for Lois. Having her see Mia emerge from his shower wearing only a towel didn't help, so he decides to pay off Lois' actual blind date and stand in his place at the Ace of Clubs. All Lois wanted from him was her ALL her flaws pointed out. Knowing he can't do that to her, Oliver rattles off reason after reason why she is the best thing since sliced bread. The best thing, though, is that she's still in his life and his heart, which causes Lois to break his heart on the club balcony. Is it just me, or did Erica Durance's Calgary side come out when she made her "honest" assessment?

We don't have enough time to really ponder that point as Mia lures Oliver to a surprise smackdown by Pimp Rick. Lois only mucks up the works, but a stunning combination of the three gets them free long enough for Clark to don the black outfit and block the bullets. The Blur saves the day again!

cassidyfreeman_smallville_290.jpgTess and Zod are back, this time as partners-in-crime for a new Solar Tower. Of course, neither really wants to share the power, but all Zod wants is for Tess to share what she knows on the Blur. As this is her only bargaining chip for staying alive and relevant, she keeps those pretty little lips shut. Even when Zod dispatches an underling bodyguard to force Tess to reveal her knowledge, she fights back by disposing of the flunky in short order. He got served; she served it back... so it's totally on.

In the end, Clark dramatically pulls Lois close and they kiss! And how! Now that's passion, kids. Guess losing a morning show hosting gig will do that to a guy, but at least Dr. Christina will save morning television from itself.