Spike TV's Video Game Awards

tvpartywd05.jpgWe could argue that life on Earth has never been better than it is right now. And yet, thanks to technology, you can totally avoid living your real life by sitting in front of a glowing screen 24 hours a day pretending to be a slayer named Mohrdahr. If that's your kind of cool, tune in to Spike TV's Video Game Awards 2010 Saturday, Dec. 11. If you wish you were a world-class spy, underworld criminal, Special Ops team member, dancer, alien, car thief or just about any other thing that can best be lived via multibutton joystick, call your friends and neighbors because we're throwing a Video Game Awards party! (Your results may vary.)

Setting the scene:
Not to stereotype, but the life of a gamer traditionally takes place in a dark basement belonging to someone's parents. And in those living quarters, a gamer shares his life with little more than cooling fans and a significant number of collectible figurines still in their original packaging - so decorate accordingly. That means walls covered in scenes from Donkey Kong, video gaming rocking chairs, projectors and screens for large-scale gaming, and, of course, everything from Xbox 360s and Wiis to Nintendos and PlayStations. Have games cued up, such as Rock Band 3, Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood, Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit, Call of Duty: Black Ops and GoldenEye 007. Be sure to have all the blinds down and spill Cheetos all over the couch and chairs. Pac-Man sound effects should be a constant. Invitations should have a Tetris-style font.

Attire:
Encourage guests to come dressed as their favorite video game characters, from Mario and Pac-Man to Zelda, Lara Croft and Sephiroth. If that proves too complicated, suggest they wear an "Alien Autopsy" T-shirt from Threadless.com or another cool T from GamePaused.

On the menu:
5-hour Energy, Pac-Man Power Up Energy Drink, Gamer Grub, Perky Jerky caffeinated beef jerky, Nuclear Energy Powder, Ensure and chips.

On the hi-fi:
I Am Not Your Game Boy by Freezepop, Nintendo 89 by Audio Karate, Juicy by Notorious B.I.G., PlayStation Generation by Smut Peddlers, My Console by Eiffel 65, Pinball Wizard by the Who.

The showstopper:
In the "What have you done for me lately?" world of video games, all that matters is having the latest equipment. And Microsoft's Kinect for Xbox 360 is just that: a very cool motion-sensor control that detects the movements of your entire body. We're not sure where this will lead, but we're going to enjoy it.