'Supernatural' recap: Bored at a Boredello

supernatural-jensen-ackles-jared-padalecki-320.jpgAnnie Hawkins, a dear old friend of Our Intrepid Heroes' that nobody's ever heard of before tonight, gives the boys a call to inform them of some deeply disturbing goings-on in an abandoned whorehouse out in Bodega Bay, California. Seems the place has been witness to a number of suspicious disappearances over the years, and while those disappearances did taper off for a period of time a decade or so ago, renewed interest in the decaying manor has led to a fresh rash of vanishings in recent weeks, mostly of young area couples intent on performing vile acts of filthy premarital fornication in the old bordello. Because they apparently have nothing better to do with their time even though we're a mere five episodes away from this god-awful season's finale, Our Intrepid Heroes immediately agree to meet this Annie Hawkins person, and they promptly climb into This Week's Crapped-Out Piece Of Automotive Trash to make the hours-long drive to the Left Coast.

Unfortunately, Annie decides to begin the investigation without them, and she quickly finds herself the latest victim of the old house's former owner, a spectral psychopath by the name of Whitman Van Ness. Dead Annie's quite naturally at an utter loss as to how to proceed until Our Intrepid Heroes finally blow into town with Dead Bobby in tow, and the two friendly ghosts team up to battle the haunted whorehouse's evil overlord together, mainly because Our Intrepid Morons are too stupid to figure out what's going on themselves.

Dead Annie and Dead Bobby consult with various of the defunct brothel's other post-life residents, all of whom were viciously murdered by the eminent Mr. Van Ness, and they become especially friendly with one long-deceased and terribly helpful hooker in particular until the latter incurs the wrath of their vengeful host, who vanquishes the unfortunate lass by burning her bones in the manor's miraculously still-functioning fireplace. You see, Van Ness maintains his control over his victims by storing their earthly remains in a hidden household chamber, so it becomes necessary, finally, to involve Our Otherwise Useless Morons, as only they can desecrate Van Ness's grave before offering all of the fiend's victims an appropriate mass cremation ceremony that will send their restless spirits onwards towards... whatever the hell happens to ghosts on this show when you kill them. And no, I don't know why Dead Bobby can't just set the damn house on fire himself and be done with it, so don't ask.