'Survivor: Caramoan's' Brenda Lowe: 'I feel like I was dumped ... so hurt'
Are you glad you returned to "Survivor"? Was it everything you hoped or expected it would be?
"Yeah, it was definitely not what I expected it would be. It was actually a lot better. I feel like I grew even more and matured and learned about myself ... it was great. I'm so happy to have been asked back. And I'm happy to have survived as long as I did, I'm really proud of myself. So yes, I'm really happy about it."
That blindside was awful -- usually we love blindsides, but that just made us sad. How upsetting was it for you?
"Super, super, super upsetting. I told somebody as soon as I got voted off, 'Wow, I feel like I was dumped.' You know when you have that devastating, ready-to-eat-chocolate feeling? I felt like that. I felt like I was rejected by somebody I really cared for. It was really, really, really painful. It wasn't about there goes my shot at a million dollars, it was like I am so hurt right now. That was the feeling."
Did you have any inkling that something was up going into that Tribal Council?
"I did a little bit, actually, a few minutes before we headed to Tribal. Something was wrong, something was up. I didn't know what it was -- I went to Dawn and I didn't say the words, 'I think it's me,' but I said that something feels wrong, something's not right.
She just kept reassuring me and reassuring me. I just had to believe that everything was OK. But the minute I saw my name, I was like, 'I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.' I didn't want to believe they were capable that, but I got voted off."
How is your relationship with Dawn now? That seemed like such a betrayal, especially after her whole retainer meltdown.
"There is no relationship now with Dawn. I would not actively seek out one. If it wasn't for the live finale, I would not want to talk to her or anything like that. It's not coming from a place of bitterness, it's coming more from having a choice of the people I want in my life and the people that I don't. I have good people that I'd rather be hanging out and talking to than someone like her."
What about with Cochran?
"Cochran is different. It's just different. I never had that huge emotional bond with Cochran out there. I really didn't feel it was personal. I didn't know about Cochran's cocky confessionals. I didn't know the things he was saying or thinking. Whenever I was around, he seemed pretty docile. Pretty gentle. There was really nothing for me to feel betrayed about. I enjoy talking to Cochran, I enjoy watching him play. Cochran and Dawn are totally different for me."
Have you seen the fan reactions online? They are so mad for you.
Yeah, I have. I want to tell everyone thank you so much, it means so much to me ... it means a lot because I feel like people are on my side of the thing, which is this battle of what's right and what's wrong. There's always a fine line of 'This is a game,' but it's also like -- you don't do that to people ... To have people's support, to know that it was OK to be nice to people and they all agree it wasn't the right thing for Dawn to do, that makes me feel good. I'm happy to hear the suport I'm getting."
Who did you think was in the strongest position in the game when you were voted out?
"The best position of the game was either ... Eddie or Erik if it came to going on an Immunity streak. As far as strategy and jury and stuff, it would've been Cochran. But Sherri and Dawn, eh. Their likability just plummeted to the floor, so I don't think that they had a shot. But I think Eddie, Erik and Cochran do have a shot at that point."
Would you go back on "Survivor" a third time if you were asked?
Definitely. Definitely definitely. Getting the second phone call was a big deal. To get a third phone call -- you cannot turn that down. I'm not sure if it's going to happen, but if it ever did happen, yeah, I would definitely love to play the game. It's a fun, fun game."
"Survivor" airs Wednesday nights at 8 p.m. ET/PT on CBS.