'Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains': Bye Courtney. JT, you are a moron.

courtney-survivor.jpg "Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains" sees JT makes one of the stupidest moves in the history of the game when he slips Russell a love note and the Hidden Immunity Idol. Also, stick bug Courtney Yates goes home.

Post-tribal
Sandra is pretty gloat-y about voting out Coach. Meanwhile, Russell is actually in a pretty good place with his Danielle-Parvati-Jerri alliance plus the Heroes thinking he's the lone guy who survived the all-girl alliance.

Reward Challenge

The tribes get an advanced notice about "endurance and a threshold for pain." It involved two narrow walls with small footholds and you pair off against the other tribe. Each tribe ranks their members from strongest to weakest. The Villains recognize that it should be all the girls playing and not Russell. It's a good strategy.

Meanwhile, Rupert thinks he's the strongest of all the people left and wants to be ranked high. While wearing his jaunty J.Lo-at-the-Oscars wrap, of course. At the challenge, the Heroes can't believe that Coach is gone and they think the women's alliance is strong. Haha.

At the challenge, the winning tribe is receiving an Outback Steakhouse feast. I have to think the Villains are going to kick butt at this, what with all the women left. The match-ups are Danielle-Candice, Courtney-Amanda, Parvati-JT, Jerri-Colby and Sandra-Rupert. Interesting.

During the challenge, we find out this is the 100th day Amanda has played "Survivor." She's the first person to reach 100 days. Wow. That's cool as hell and I don't even like Amanda. Meanwhile, Russell is sitting on the sidelines giving JT looks about how hard he has it with the all-girl alliance. Man, that is just hilarious.

When the Survivors reach the third foothold (which is TEENY), Colby with the big feet drops first, so Jerri scores the first point. Rupert is the next to drop. The Villains had a sweet strategy on this one, leaving Russell out. Then Amanda drops and the Villains win. Courtney's like, "What? The breeze is keeping me up, what? I weigh 60 lbs. What?"

At the feast, Sandra is downing fruity, alcoholic beverages like it's her job. Love it. Meanwhile, Parvati finds a clue to the Hidden Immunity Idol in her napkin, which she promptly stuffs in her underwear. Later she shows it to Danielle and they decide they'll fill Russell in on a need-to-know basis.

Meanwhile, at the Heroes camp JT has a plan. He says that Russell knows he's going next, so he wants to talk to Russell and slip him the Hidden Immunity Idol to vote out Parvati. WOOOOOOW. That is insane. Complete insanity. And Candice and Amanda are aware of the danger of his idea. But JT writes a note to Russell that reads like a "Dear Diary" entry. It's possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV. I mean, "Are you there God, it's me Margaret" and crap. Are you kidding me, JT? My boyfriend even goes, "'Do you like me? Check yes or no.'" Back at the Villains camp, Danielle and Parvati find the Hidden Immunity Idol and agree to keep it between themselves.

Immunity Challenge
The tribes are on a floating platform. One member at a time moves a bag of puzzle pieces along a rope. Once they have all five bags, they use the pieces to assemble a totem pole. The Villains sit out Sandra.

The challenge sees the Heroes out in front. First of all, the Villains are tugging the bag instead of taking the rope hand-over-hand, which is dumb. Secondly, the bag gets heavy once it takes on water, so hold it out of the water! Duh.

Meanwhile, Colby and Russell are left on the platforms as the anchor in the relay. Colby gets Russell's attention and says, "You going home tonight? ... When the challenge is over, you go to JT. He's gonna give you something. Use it tonight. Protect yourself, get rid of one of them. Come with us. Get rid of Parvati." Russell says he wants to shake Colby's hand and Colby says "We'll do that later." The Heroes win the challenge and JT totally passes the Idol off to Russell during the post-challenge hugs. OH. MY. GOD.

"Now I don't even have to find Idols! People are actually giving me Idols. You don't hand the enemy the Idol, expressly when his name is Russell Hantz." HEEEE!

Post-Challenge

JT is pretty excited that they handed the Idol to Russell. Oh dear. I almost feel bad for them because they don't know what Russell is about. Parvati reads the letter aloud and she and Russell laugh. Parvati even goes, "XOXO" and I laugh so hard.

The Villains want to get Courtney out because she's so weak. Also, Russell shows Danielle and Jerri the Idol and everybody laughs their asses off. They weigh the pros and cons of Sandra versus Courtney. For me, now that they don't seem to care about the tribe winning, you gotta keep Courtney. Sandra's too smart.

Tribal Council
No matter how dramatic Jeff tries to make it, Sandra and Courtney know it's between them for who is getting voted off. It's Boston Rob's girls versus Russell's girls in a pimp war. Russell says that trust can work for you because he's sitting there with Russell, Danielle and Parvati. This is actually what I predicted, it just involved Courtney rather than Parvati.

The votes go Jerri, Courtney, Courtney, Courtney, and then Courtney is leaving. No big surprises there. She's a smart girl, but pretty much worthless in challenges.

Okay, Heroes -- You are idiots. Maybe not Amanda and Candice. But JT, Colby and Rupert. Damn. Seriously. Are you INSANE?!

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Photo credit: CB