'Survivor: Philippines': Stop flirting with Jeff Probst, lady

kalabaw-tribe-survivor.jpgCan Malcolm and Denise rally and go all butt-kickers on the other two "Survivor: Philippines" tribes? Let's find out.

Matsing

Denise is convinced they're going to be split up and one sent to each of the remaining tribes. So they decide they've gotta make one last effort to find the Hidden Idol, in case they don't come back to their beach. They finally manage to find the Idol on the rice basket. So, who takes it if they send you to two different tribes? Turns out Malcolm does, by virtue of the fact that he snatched it up first. Hmm.

Reward Challenge

Jeff tells Malcolm and Denise to drop their buffs and they draw for which tribe they'll join -- Malcolm goes to Tandang and Denise goes to Kalabaw. Bummer. I wanted to root for Malcolm and Denise on their own.

The challenge is one-on-one where you just try to knock your opponent's idol off a handheld platform. The reward is coffee and cookies. Mmmm.

In the challenge, Skupin pulls a genius move by tossing his idol up in the air and knocking Penner's idol down because the loser is whose idol hits the ground first. It could have backfired, but it did not. Slick. Probst's mancrush grew three sizes that day.

Also, Abi gets her panties in a twist because Dawson got a bunch of her hair. She says, "Play like a man, don't play like a b****." Um, we'd also argue don't whine like one either.

Tandang ends up winning 5-3, with Malcolm winning two of their points, so he's riding high.

Tandang

Malcolm seems to have re-energized the tribe, all except for RC. She's a little leery because Malcolm is a huge threat who immediately buddies up with Peter. And lo and behold, Peter promptly reveals to Malcolm that he and Abi have the Idol. Malcolm smartly keeps his mouth shut.

Kalabaw

Interestingly, this is the tribe split men/women in terms of alliances. So Katie immediately sees they need to get Denise into the fold. Meanwhile, Dana's in bad shape. She's sick, possibly running a fever and has sharp pains in her abdomen. Jeff Probst and the medical team to the rescue.

Medical leaves it up to Dana -- they think she could give it another 12 hours, push some fluids and see how it goes. But Dana says she can't do it and she chooses to leave. She says goodbye to the tribe and that's Dana. Bummer.

Everyone's sad and concerned, but Katie is also extra upset because her alliance is now down a member. She has got to get Denise on board, or the women are screwed.

Immunity Challenge

It's an obstacle course, knots, puzzle pieces and a phrase to figure out. Tandang sits out Abi. Probst asks how many challenges she's actually participated in and she says two. Hmph.

During the challenge, Kalabaw falls behind because Katie struggles with the obstacle course, but Kalabaw catches up on the puzzle -- they only lose by seconds. Also, Probst's snark is turned up to 11 on this challenge, criticizing Abi for sitting out so much and Katie for not being able to get over the mound obstacle. And it's not like he's not right, but dude, we get it.

Pre Tribal


Denise is sweating because she's new, while Katie is nervous because she's kind of the reason they lost. Jeff approaches Denise about aligning with the men and she smartly agrees -- Jeff can see that Denise is stronger than Dawson and Katie, so hopefully she's safe because Denise is awesome.

And actually, it becomes a choice between Katie and Dawson. Penner thinks Dawson is usually weaker, but Katie was weaker today. Then weirdly, Dawson (who knows Jeff Kent is a former MLB player) starts bad-mouthing baseball players as non-athletes and giggling in her talking-head interviews about how she's messing with him so much and hahaha, isn't that hilarious? It's really weird. Why are you doing that, lady? Do you not see that you are in trouble? And maybe you don't want to make Jeff nervous about you and want to vote you out?

Tribal Council

The girls try to make their cases, while Penner laments the loss of Dana, which, yeah, that's a big loss. Dana was more a Denise than a Katie/Dawson. It's not terribly interesting, everybody knows who the vote is between.

The votes go Denise, Dawson, Dawson, Dawson and Dawson. Well, maybe you shouldn't have angered Jeff Kent. His wrath is mighty. Seriously, though, that was a weird thing to do, plus she could've worked a lot harder to keep herself off the block over Katie. And then weirdly on the way out, she smooches Jeff Probst on the cheek and gives him a big hug, after earlier saying they love to come see him, though it sucks someone has to go.

Um, stop putting the moves on Probst, girlfriend. It's creeping us all out. And what is up with your exit interview? You are weird.

Next week: A good ol' fashioned wrasslin' challenge. Awesome.
Photo/Video credit: CBS