'Survivor' recap: Men and Women are Both Dumb

survivor-one-world.jpgProbst immediately divides the new castaways into male and female tribes, and then gives them sixty seconds to grab supplies from a truck. The women don't notice that one of the men, Mike, is stealing stuff from their pile, which is really smart, although once the women figure it out, they don't think it's great. Probst sends the tribes off to their camps and WOMP WOMMMMMP there's only one camp! Which we already knew, since it's been on every preview and in every article written about the season.

The first conflict comes early; there are chickens running around camp and the men and women agree to work together to catch two, with each tribe getting one. Except one of the women (Chelsea) ends up with two chickens and instead of handing one over immediately, she decides to negotiate, which pisses the men off. The women try to get fire from the men in return for the chicken. And then they try to steal fire right in front of everyone. And then they try just asking for fire and hoping they can flirt it out of them. Next, two of the women sneak over at night while the men are sleeping and steal some fire, but they can't keep it going. Finally, Christina makes a deal that the women will weave twenty palm fronds in return for fire, which the men accept. Some of her tribemates are not happy, because she seems to be making alliances with the men.

Also, Colton the Gay (that's practically how they chyron him) would rather hang out with the ladies than the men, although he tells Matt the Dickhead Lawyer that he'll serve as a go-between/spy.

Sabrina finds a Hidden Immunity Idol, but it's pre-designated for the men's tribe, so she has to give it to one of them. She gives it to Colton, because they all know that he'll be the first voted off, which is SO DUMB. He is not someone you need as an ally and giving him the Idol isn't going to win you any favors.