'Teen Mom 2' recap: Jenelle's get out of jail free card

jenelle-evans-pot-pact-teen-mom-2.jpgApparently our faith in "Teen Mom 2" star Jenelle Evans' probation officer was misguided: Even after her failed drug tests and the Ke$ha crisis, she gave the reality train wreck another reprieve from jail.

Is our desire to see Jenelle behind bars schadenfreude or concern? No matter: The probation officer was clearly swayed by the Teen Mom's heartfelt letter pleading to reinstate her probation (or whatever the legal term is -- "unviolate" her?) instead of going to jail. Maybe her P.O. loves Ke$ha too?

"She is surprisingly giving you another chance," Jenelle's stunned lawyer, Dustin, reveals. "A cat has nine lives -- you just picked up a 10th."

To help her stay on the straight and narrow, the immortal kitty made a pinky pact (referring to their bizarrely matching tops of course) with her Fight Club friend Tori. "It took me 12 drug tests to fail and I finally started passing them," says Tori about her own history -- from which she obviously never learned seeing as how she must still be using in order to quit with Jenelle.

For once, Jenelle and her mother, Barbara, go through an entire episode without screaming in front of baby Jace, about to celebrate his second birthday. (Hopefully he couldn't understand his mom when she said, "You know what Jace? Your dad missed your birthday, again.") Jenelle's gift this year is a slip and slide that doesn't look remotely dangerous at all. (Surely the package has a "5 and older" warning like most similar products?)

Jenelle and her mom share a heartwarming hug, and it's all puppies and rainbows from here on out.

patches-adam-lind-teen-mom-2.jpgJust like carefree Chelsea! She's coping with her latest Adam breakup Farrah Abraham-style, adopting a puppy named Frankie. Not to be confused with Patches, our new nickname for Adam, who looks like he's been using hedge clippers to trim his beard.

Patches obviously didn't explain to Chelsea that his promise ring represented his promise to stay with her as long as he had free food and rent -- courtesy of her dad. Randy's enabling days appear to be over -- as far as Patches is concerned anyway -- and compares his ouster of the freeloader to an "intervention."

So while Patches is enjoying his "bomb as h***" freedom, Chelsea is too sad to study for her GED. Instead of taking her Science and Reading tests, she stays in bed, consoling herself with generous amounts of animal print.

Kailyn also wants to feel "bomb as h***." Complaining that on-again boyfriend Jordan is smothering her (because she can't admit she only reconciled with him because she was jealous of baby daddy Jo's girlfriend), she dances around an actual breakup.

When Jordan asks her to DTR, she says they are "not currently" together. Then she yells at him for ditching her to hang out with another girl. Could the poor guy muster the dignity to finally close the book on this relationship?

Recent divorcee Leah is embarking on a brand-new romance with Jeremy, who could be baby daddy Corey's twin brother. (Hey, it's a small town -- how about a DNA test to satisfy our curiosity? Another rendezvous at Quaker Steak?)

He's definitely more chivalrous than her ex, sending her flowers on her first day of school -- the first bouquet she's ever received!

And after such a successful first date -- Grand Prix Go-Kart racing -- is it any wonder the two lovebirds got married?

Sadly, the young mom's nursing career is less promising, but with twin toddlers and a third baby on the way, can you blame her? At least she has a high school diploma.

Photo/Video credit: MTV