'The Apprentice' recap: It's Like Some Kind of Torture to Have to Watch This Show

celebrity-apprentice-donald-trump.jpgPreviously: Potes was a godsend and gave a hundred and ten puh-cent in recapping Lou's ouster for me. Aubrey and Arsenio made up, I suppose, though not before Aubrey compared her own situation to gay kids who get bullied to death, because the real victims are always people like Aubrey and Kelly Bensimon. Lisa and Dayana also seemed to make up, though not even the narrator believes that's going to last.

Post-Pinkslip Aftermath:
Lisa comes back to the penthouse crowing about having gotten rid of Lou, and Clay objects to her having a little too good of a time with it. "He's still a person," he tells her, not even that haughtily, but Lisa still doesn't want to hear it coming from Clay. He backs right down, to the delight of Aubrey, who giggle-interviews about how she hates Clay and was happy Lisa shut him up. Speculation turns to whether someone from Unanimous will be drafted onto Forte in order to even up the numbers. Aubrey privately hopes it will be Clay or Arsenio, since she wants to see their friendship split up.

The Task:
The Trump-lebrities meet up at FAO Schwartz, where Trump informs them that "We all hear that puppets are for kids." Oh yes. I'm always saying that grown adults need to be more into puppets. They're joined by Brian (son of Jim) Henson, who talks about the puppet improv show "Stuffed & Unstrung," and how the task will be to build two original "miscreant puppet characters," in tandem with the Henson creature shop, and then perform in front of a live audience. Joining Trump this week are Ivanka and Eric.

And indeed, Trump does even up the teams. He polls Forte as to who they'd want: Dayana wants Clay, Lisa wants Aubrey, and Penn... totally ducks the question. Doesn't matter anyway -- Trump already decided it was going to be Clay. Lisa opines that "Clay is a BLEEP sometimes" and I am QUITE curious as to what she said there. Anyway, Eric delivers the criteria for the task: they'll be judged on puppet design, the overall quality of puppeteering and improv, and the total live performance. The project managers are Paul and Lisa. Paul interviews that puppeteering is not his thing at all (red flag!), but he figures: it's improv -- you're not supposed to know what you're doing. Uh huh.