'The Bachelor: Women Tell All' special: Michelle Money ripped apart by wolves ... er, the women

michelle-money-bachelor-320.jpgThe special kicks off with a rehash of the season so far between Brad and Chris Harrison. It's boring and does not shed any extra light on the season. Bloop bloop bloop.

At the reunion special, Chris starts the reunion with footage from a "Bachelor" franchise party from New York plus talk of "Bachelor Pad 2," which is going to air this summer. We see all the greatest hits - Vienna, Rozlyn, Kasey the Heart Protector, Wes, Ashleigh, Krisily and Gia, who basically calls Vienna a skank, which - we aren't going to argue with you.

It's finally time for the actual Women Tell All portion of the evening. Here are some highlights:

  • Ashley H. has some seriously dark hair, which I'm not sure about yet. It's a dramatic change. The women descend on Michelle like hyenas on a gazelle carcass and it's pretty wonderful. Michelle can insist she's "funny" and "sarcastic" all she wants - if she was funny, I would've laughed more. She came across as petty, immature and catty.
  • There is some time given to Melissa vs. Rachel, but um - who even cares? They both went home early, neither of them is even a blip on the radar anymore. Why do we want to find out more about that conflict?
  • Baby-voiced 15-year-old Ashley S. gets a segment. Are they trying to gauge response on her for next Bachelorette? Because she kind of annoyed me and I don't know why her exit is being touted as so heartbreaking. Is it because she got punched "in the stomach. And the heart"?
  • Back to the new dark-haired Ashley H. She seems to have had a personal transformation since maybe her defense mechanisms made her lose out on a great guy. After Chris Harrison asks her what she wants to say to Brad, she hilariously drops her voice and goes, "That I love him" and then a bit later she drops her voice again and says, "I feel like a changed woman." Uh, she's being so winning! In the span of five minutes, she has convinced me she'd be a fun Bachelorette to watch.
  • Brad comes out and he says he'll defend Michelle until he's blue in the face. He also says her interviews were funny. Hmph.
  • Brad and Ashley have a nice reconciliation and Brad also talks about a visit to a preschool they made in South Africa, which is cool.
  • Brad then insists he is in love and that he falls more and more in love with the woman he chose every day.
  • There is a delightful outtake reel that I can't even do justice in trying to describe, so I will not try.
  • We then get a preview of the finale. Chantal and Emily each get a segment. Who do you think Brad is going to choose? I think Chantal is the better match for him.

Photo/Video credit: ABC