'The Biggest Loser': Breaking up is hard to do

Jillianmichaels_bobharper_biggestlo We're back to the victimization rag on The Biggest Loser. From the very start of the episode to the very end, someone, somewhere, is moaning about how other people are picking on them, or aren't picking them at all, or are otherwise being mean to them! Sigh.

The average American consumes more than 50 pounds of spoilers a year by drinking soda.

Alison announces that only two people will compete in the challenge: Bob and Jillian. The trainers are racing up escalators; the first to do 10 rounds wins the right to pick his or her team. The competitors are thrilled to watch Bob and Jillian sweat for a change, while both Bob and Jillian look like they're considering calling their agents (do they have agents?) The two are neck and neck at first, but Bob takes the lead and wins the right to pick teams.

The moaning
This, of course, means that the three duos who don't get picked feel bad about being neglected and forgotten and left to ROT in the DESERT (sorry, I had a flashback to last season.) When Bob picks Teams Orange, Black and Gray, Teams Purple, Yellow and Blue are pretty peevish.

I can sort of see where Team Blue is coming from-they picked Bob in the first episode, and he didn't return the favor. However, after the first 10 or so times of Bernie and Brittany saying "Bob didn't pick us, wahhhh!" I was done. We get it. And much as I love you two (Team Blue is up there with Team Gray as my current favorite), you need to let it go.

Speaking of things that must be let go.... Team Purple sniped at Team Yellow for daring to say that they haven't had great numbers, and they need to really step it up to keep staying. How dare you  imply we're not working! Jenn fumes. As that offhand comment was a way for Kelly to save face when she sent the wrong team home last week, you should probably shut it.

Finally, Jillian's tears at the end of the trainer challenge seemed odd to me. The competitors seemed to interpret it as "Poor Jillian, she's so close to all of us and now she's got to let us go." I interpreted it as "Dammit! First, Bob had the temerity to beat me, and now he's taking all the best teams!" However, she soon rallied and started dishing out the sweet, sweet elixir of "Boy, doesn't it suck that you got dissed," which she used so effectively last season.

The psychology
Jillian poked at Brittany to get to the bottom of her food issues, which I really wish they would do off-camera. Brittany says it's hard for her to talk to her trainer about this -- isn't it made that much harder by having a frickin' camera in her face?

Personally, I liked Bob's approach better, because he basically told Jenn to shut up. Well, not exactly -- when Jenn railed about how horrible it was that Team Yellow said they didn't work, Bob asked "Why are you letting this get to you all the time, Jennifer?" and told her that she needed to be able to concentrate on her own work, and not worry about what other people are saying. Thank you. I've been screaming that at the TV for the last several weeks.

The weigh-in and elimination
The producers try to make this tense, but it's pretty obvious Black is screwed. Yes, the brothers Mark and Jay put up low numbers (for them), but come on -- the team lost 50 pounds!

Maggie and Jenn start things off strong, but things get ugly after that. Brittany -- who was pretty much an exercise fanatic this week -- lost "only" 2 pounds. But the real blow comes when Kelly loses nothing -- she's devastated -- and Paul gains 3 pounds. (Most likely culprit, besides the weirdness of the human body? He's been cutting his calories back too far.)

The elimination comes down to Kelly vs. Jenn. Kelly gets weepy -- again -- and Jenn looks beleaguered -- again -- but Jenn finally, finally gets the boot. I'm relieved. Kelly took the incredibly classy route of lobbying for Paul to stay, and Jenn... well, you all know my feelings toward Jenn.

In the look-at-me-now interview, Jenn has lost 53 pounds and is looking good. Congratulations! I am a bit worried that she says she works out like it's her job, and that all she does is work out and eat and sleep, but... well, we'll see how it goes.

Thoughts

  • Poor Bob -- he knew he'd upset people by not choosing them, and he probably knew that Jillian would stoke those resentment-based fires. But he looked particularly heartbroken when Brittany and Bernie talked about how hard it was not to be picked.
  • Bob has a couple of reasons for not picking Blue -- one, he knew Jillian was bonding with Brittany, and thought Jillian would do well with her. Two, he loves hanging with Roger because it reminds him of home. "I remind you of cattle, huh?" Roger says. I love him.
  • Brittany is a frickin' machine during the competitors' escalator trudge. She lasted twice as long as anyone else on her team, and at times she was sprinting up the stairs. She's awesome.
  • Alison announces that this week, they're breaking up the duos at the elimination. "One of you is going to have to say goodbye to  your partner." Was it just my imagination, or did Mark look happy about that?
  • Bernie panics at the Blue Team's numbers -- "They literally lost a pair of kindergarteners." Bernie is hanging out with some seriously underweight kindergarteners.