'The Biggest Loser': Mike's got a golden ticket

mike-ventrella-biggest-loser-s9-320.jpg" The Biggest Loser" makes its post-Olympics debut tonight, along with the Black vs. Blue teams. And apparently, we've got a new villain.

The producers decided to go on hiatus directly in the middle of a challenge. We left off seeing Darrell and Cheryl battle it out to stay on the ranch by balancing giant torches on their heads. As nonsensical (yet well-themed) as this challenge was, it's still funny to see these people squatting for ten minutes straight. To nobody's surprise, Darrell loses and has to go home. Everybody cries.

This week's temptation challenge was a doozy. It was probably the most calories consumed in a temptation challenge. The winner gets power. Lots of power. He or she chooses the Blue vs. Black teams (and their respective trainers) as well as one person to get immunity. This only seemed tempting to two players, Andrea and Michael. It's a game of memory, but with fatty foods and golden tickets. If you fail to make a match, you're docked with a cookie. If your opponent makes a match, you have to each the fatty food. This game included snacks such as "little chocolates," "breakfast pastries," and
"chocolate and peanut butter treats" which we all know is network TV slang for Hershey's Kisses, Pop Tarts, and Reese's Cups.

Long story short, because it was only two of them playing there were a lot of calories handed out. Like, thousands. Mike ended up eating 2,310 while Drea got lucky and only had to eat 1,220. On the other hand, Mike found the golden tickets and won the game. He picks the teams rather selfishly, stacking his Blue team with stronger players and giving the Black team all the smaller players. He claims that for once in his life, he was "putting himself first." Because he apparently wasn't thinking about himself when he ballooned up to 500 pounds? Anyway, the Black Team is pretty peeved about his attitude... but not as peeved as Jillian Michaels. She doesn't like the fact that he Black Team consists of mostly girls. Then there's O'Neal, who was granted immunity but is forced to join whichever team happens to lose tonight. Let's at least be grateful to Bob Harper for nicknaming Mike "cookie."

The challenge this week was pretty lame. Alison Sweeney's tacky red lipstick couldn't even make it more exciting. The teams had to pull a rope to lift a banner up the side of a building. And - duh - the Blue Team wins. They get letters from home, lots of weeping and sobbing, and life moves on.

stephanie-anderson-biggest-loser-s9-320.jpgAt the weigh-in, O'Neal goes first because of his immunity. It turns out, he didn't really need it! He lost nine pounds and probably would have been safe no matter which team he had been on. The Blue Team goes, leading with Evil Mike. It appears all those cookies and pretzels have jump started his metabolism or something because he lost 15 freaking pounds. He must have some weird genetic mutation. The rest of his team does well except for Miggy, who loses four, and Lance, who loses five. But overall, they'll be tough to beat. Except for the fact that they were beat. By girls! Ashley and Stephanie stepped up their games and totally bitch-slapped the other team.

So David defeated Goliath, and now the Black Team has to vote off one of their own. It comes down to Miggy and Lance because of their low percentages, but between the two Lance is better at challenges. Miggy is sent home and takes up meditation. Which she needed. And don't forget about Darrell. He's lost a few more pounds too. Hooray. Next week: find out how to push a big rig without causing permanent paralysis.