'The Biggest Loser': Stephanie's out, Melissa's in, and hell freezes over

melissa-morgan-biggest-loser-s9-320.jpg" The Biggest Loser" has decided to bring back not one, but two eliminated contestants: Blue Team's Vicky and Red Team's Melissa. In other words... it's good vs. evil!

Alison Sweeney just loves bringing the surprises. The first one of the day comes when the doors to the scale are opened and all the eliminated contestants from this season are revealed (complete with looks of constipation). For the first time EVER, the person coming back to the ranch will be determined by a popular vote. *whew* Let's just automatically cross Melissa's name off that list, shall we? Moving on, they all weigh in so we can see their progress. Half the players vote for James because he's slipped a bit and isn't losing as much weight as he should, and let's face it, he's not a threat. The other half vote for Victoria because she never got a chance to actually compete on the ranch. Thankfully, Mike's vote gives the Blue player a chance at redemption.

But wait! There's more! That's right... one more player is coming back. Say whaaat? But this time, they take the physical challenge. Dang. Melissa and Miggy are the front runners for this one, which is to get to 1000 steps first. This is like deciding between dog crap and vomit for dinner. And then just like Seabiscuit, Melissa pulls into the lead and wins the stupid game. So now she's back in the house. Hooray. She's still rambling about how much she wants to money and how she's not there to make friends. Someone should remind her that the "game players" never win the show.

Here's something random: Ashley and Koli have a conversation about how much they distrust Stephanie and how they think she threw a weigh-in a few weeks back to get Sherri eliminated. Huh? This seems like a case of high-elevation-induced paranoia.

Meanwhile, Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels are thrilled the game is back to singles instead of Black vs. Blue. But then they see Melissa walk through the door, and their hopes for a drama-free last chance workout are dashed. They did seem genuinely thrilled to see Victoria there, however. Speaking of Victoria, she better be glad she got immunity this week. She only lost two pounds at the weigh-in. Falling below the yellow line this week were real-life sweethearts Sam and Stephanie. Koli and Ashley still maintain Steph's "shadiness," which has never been addressed before (leading me to believe it was all made up by some associate producer who thought more drama means bigger ratings [It doesn't]).

stephanie-anderson-biggest-loser-s9-320.jpgSadly, fan favorite Stephanie gets the boot this week. Which is a mistake on many levels. Sam's assuredly a bigger threat, but hey, with Melissa back in the house now they'll have much bigger fish to fry.

On another note... this Wayne dude apparently lost more than 400 pounds after being inspired by the show. That's all well and great and everything. But why was his weight loss LIVE? Seriously, a pre-taped segment would have worked just fine. But I guess that's not sparkly and shiny enough.