'The Celebrity Apprentice'
It's a cast you can't help but love: the A-list of C-listers. In fact, some of these people actually had our respect at one point. Of course, that's all a distant memory when you watch The Celebrity Apprentice Sundays on NBC. Joining The Donald in the boardroom are everyone from Tom Green and Khloe Kardashian to Dennis Rodman and Scott Hamilton. In addition, there are Andrew Dice Clay, Joan and Melissa Rivers, Clint Black, and Jesse James. Throw in a case opener from Deal or No Deal (Claudia Jordan), a Playboy Playmate (Brande Roderick) and a few other head scratchers, and this is easily the most watchable thing from Trump since Ivanka.
Setting the scene:
You'll need to turn your living room into the boardroom, so get your hands on a massive conference table large enough to seat a majority of your guests, and place the flat-screen TV at the head of the table for easy viewing. Add dark wood paneling and a huge framed portrait of the man himself, and get ready for Trump overload. Fill the room with Trump paraphernalia such as Trump chocolate bars, Trump pens, Trump gold flags, Trump teddy bears and Trump travel mugs, all from the Trump Store. Make sure everyone gets an official You're Fired! mug to sip from during the party, with You're Fired! hats and T-shirts as party favors.
Encourage guests to arrive in either business attire or as their favorite celebrity apprentice. That's means a wedding dress for Rodman fans, a black cowboy hat for Black fans, ice skates for Hamilton fans, a metal briefcase for Jordan fans (you know who you are), and a football helmet for Herschel Walker fans.
On the menu:
Serve meat fit for a king. Yes, Trump even has his hands in the food industry. Not surprisingly, he has his name on "the world's greatest steaks." From porterhouses and New York strips to Delmonicos and rib-eyes, chances are these steaks are a lot easier to swallow than The Donald.
On the hi-fi:
This season, The Celebrity Apprentice is blessed with three stars from the music industry (four if Donald Jr. ever releases that rap CD we're hoping for), so during commercials play tracks from Black's Greatest Hits, T-Boz's TLC offering CrazySexyCool and Brian McKnight's Back at One.
You'll need limousines to pick up all your guests, so hire a car service and five or six stretch limos. Limos.com can connect you to car providers in your area. Once they arrive, have them park end to end in front of your house for the duration of the party.