'The Celebrity Apprentice' smells a rat

Piersmorgan_theapprentice7_240 The basic problem with a two hour edition of The Celebrity Apprentice is that if there's only one task over the course of two hours there's an incredible amount of filler. A two-hour one task edition has nonsense flying left, right, and center that is wholly irrelevant and belongs squarely on the cutting room floor. The good moments from an episode like tonight's are completely overshadowed by the lethargic pace, commercial breaks, and Omarosa's nattering to the camera. To put it simply, tonight's episode was more bloated than The Donald's ego.

Carol Alt, apparently with something to prove after last week, managed tonight on the women's side, and Piers Morgan on the men's. Their task was to create a campaign for Crocs. Well, not so much a campaign, that was a part of it, but as one of the execs described it, the task was "to create an in-store receptacle bin to collect used Crocs." Yes, that's right, tonight we were treated to a two-hour Celebrity Apprentice where the task was to make a green garbage can. I like the Earth and recycling is good, but creating a recycle bin so that Crocs can take old shoes and give away some sort of refurbished version of the ugly shoe to people in need, that was the task? That needed two hours?

On the men's side, Trace finally stepped up and created Hydra's slogan -- "wear them, share them." After slapping themselves on their backs, the men decided that the women were spying on them. There were some women standing outside the men's conference room, but the rooms were right next to each other and it may not have even been members of Empresario. If asked, I would say that the women were not spying, the only person on their team that would have done that is Omarosa, and I don't think everyone else would have stood for it The men had no doubts about it though, and Piers and Vinny Pastore concocted a nonsensical scheme that had the two of them fake a fight which got Vinny booted out of the men's team. He then offered himself up to the women who happily accepted the snitch into their midst.

Vinny actually didn't provide bad ideas for the women's team, including suggesting that they use Carol as the spokesmodel for the campaign. On the other hand he was also writing down what the women were doing and was planning on giving the information to Hydra. If Stephen Baldwin hadn't decided that Vinny feeding information over was cheating, the men probably could have done a better job with their recycling bin, which was just going to be a big rectangular box. The women, as Vinny could have told the men, were making theirs look like a huge Crocs shoe, a far better, idea.

Somehow, Vinny then had a crisis of conscience. He informed Marilu Henner that he had been snitching for the men but would no longer, that he would now work for the women. Was he lying? Was he telling the truth? Frankly, by that point, who cared, the task just needed to happen already.

When visited by Ivanka, the men informed her that Vinny was spying and she was actually good with it. She certainly didn't instantly put her foot down, so we knew at that point that the Donald wouldn't be firing Piers or Vinny tonight based solely on that, something more would have to happen.

Junior, upon seeing Vinny with Empresario, actually asked Vinny if Vinny was lying to the women. Vinny told him the same story about how Piers asked him to spy and the men thought he still was when he really wasn't. I still didn't care anymore about what the truth actually was, but I was very impressed that Junior saw that there was more going on than there initially appeared to be. Go, Junior!

After watching Carol do her photo shoot, Piers and Stephen "cleverly" informed Nely Galán that they had a spy by parroting Empresario's slogan back to Nely. Piers said he did it in order to get Vinny back on their side so they could enjoy the laugh. I think it may have been done because he was kind of bored and wanted to see the women's faces. Either way, Nely and Carol spent some time debating whether Piers got the info from Vinny or if the men learned it in some other way.

Carol ended up calling Marilu to find out if Vinny was a rat and Marilu almost spilled what Vinny told her about being a double-agent, but Vinny stopped her because he didn't want the men to know. When Omarosa found out what was going on she had an absolute fit. She questioned Vinny in front of their whole team and then fired him. I'm pretty sure that she didn't have the authority to do that, but Carol let it slide.

When Vinny returned to the men's side he seemed to be most upset with the fact that had this been a mob thing he would have been killed. He seemed unable to get it through his head that this wasn't the mob and that the women weren't actually going to kill him, chop him into pieces, and dump him in the East River. Vinny later claimed he didn't spy, which was odd because we all saw him throw a note to Stephen with part of the women's plan on it. The fight carried on into the next morning and just before the presentation, Piers ended up booting Vinny from the team.

In the boardroom the whole spying thing came out in the open. It was discussed over, and over, and over again. Piers argued that he didn't want the info, that he wanted to get rid of Vinny because he knew that Vinny would have nothing to valuable to add to Hydra and that he hoped Vinny's ideas would ruin the women's team. That seemed much more like Piers making up an excuse after the fact, but Vinny changed his mind about what was going on halfway through the task too, leaving both men even and hating each other.

As it turned out, not only did Vinny really provide minimal information, none of which the men used to their advantage, but the women won anyway. Vinny didn't get credit from the women for the win, but he did provide a lot of support and a good idea or two. Once Vinny realized that the women didn't want him and that the men were divided on the issue he asked to resign. After a lot more jabbering, Trump accepted the resignation and no one was actually fired tonight.

That brings up an interesting point -- Gene, in a virtual suicide, left after he got money for his charity and tonight Vinny did the same thing. Are these guys there just to get a little press and money for their charity and then bailing to get more free time? They are, aren't they?

I can promise you that The TV and Film Guy's Reviews will never bail on you like that.