'The Celebrity Apprentice': The bite heard 'round the world

Titoortiz_theapprentice7_240_2 Another week, another episode of The Celebrity Apprentice. The episodes this season have wildly oscillated between ho-hum and terribly, terribly over the top. Last week was a distinctly ho-hum episode, and this week followed in its footsteps.

Tonight's task was to create a four page photo layout advertising a new type of Dial body wash for Redbook. Omarosa jumped all over being project manager... at first. As soon as Trump stated that PMs have a greater likelihood of being fired, Omarosa not so graciously backed out, thrusting Tito Ortiz into the role. Hydra had no problems choosing, Carol Alt ran the show.

Carol instantly sat down with her team and the executives from Redbook and Dial. She and Lennox wanted to do a four-page thing on the four important moments in a woman's life. Piers was mostly on board, but was absolutely convinced that the fourth moment had to be sex-related. His teammates weren't quite as sure as about that, but they let it slide for the moment. Empresario had their meeting, and clearly the advantage of having Trace Adkins, who the Redbook executive explained was just absolutely loved by the magazine's readers.

When the time came to actually begin shooting the photos, Piers balked at using female models in their young 20s. He felt they were just too young and offered up Carol Alt as an alternative. She wasn't into the idea at first, figuring that she was already going to be doing too much what with being project manager and all, but eventually agreed. The pictures with Carol ended up looking great, and Piers even got his more sex-based shots.

Over at Empresario it was Baldwin running the photography shoot and really the entire task. Omarosa didn't think the team's idea was any good, but she was actually smart enough to realize that the guys had been winning with weird ideas the whole season and so she let them go with it. Seeing though that most of the photos had naked or half-naked women, she did push for some half naked men, including Trace, to appear. I don't know if the pictures they took had anything to do with body wash, but they didn't have a bad look to them.

The win tonight was going to come down not to the pictures that were taken, but which exact shots were used and how the entire ad was put together. Hydra opted to use their more sexual shots without any sort of hesitation. Empresario had a discussion about it before making a decision. Omarosa pushed for the team to use the half-naked Trace shots, and Stephen took the opposite side of the argument. He quoted the Dial executives as using words that argued for a safe, conservative look. It was the exact opposite thing that Piers heard during the meeting his team had with the execs, but he was going with the Redbook executive's words, not what the Dial one may or may not have said.

During the presentation Hydra, and Piers, really seemed to be on the right track, right up until they showed their last shot, a picture of Carol in bed and a male model biting her. Up until that point, it definitely looked like they were going to be unbeatable - they had great text (including an explanation of why the yogurt in the body wash was a good thing), good pictures, and a wonderfully clean look. However, if they were going to lose, it was going to be that last shot that cost them. Upon seeing it, one executive looked distinctly pale.

Empresario's ad looked good, but seemed to lack the descriptive text. They opted against the half-naked Trace shot, but instead of spending their time on that discussion they should have used it to find someone besides Tito to give the presentation. He did an horrific job. And, when I say "horrific" I mean truly and utterly disgraceful. He was clearly very nervous and had trouble forming coherent sentences and getting his thoughts out. It was actually a little painful to watch him deliver the presentation.

In the boardroom, Trump showed each team the other team's ad. Needless to say (but I'm going to say it anyway), both teams believed their ad to be better. Trump thought Empresario's layout was better than Hydra's, that the biting-Carol shot was too much, but, as he said, what he thought didn't matter, the executives chose Hydra.

After Hydra left, Trump started off asking the losing team if they should have had Omarosa as project manager. The Dragon Lady took that opportunity to lie. She stated that she wanted to be the project manager, but that she bowed to the wishes of Tito and her team. Tito called her on the lie and things in the boardroom did not start off heading in the right direction for the She-Devil tonight.. Sadly however, she was able to change the tack the discussions took. She argued that the problem was that the team had no concept, which wasn't exactly true, but certainly moved the discussion away from her faults.

It finally came down to either Stephen (the man with the losing plan) or Tito (the PM without any plan whatsoever) getting fired. Trump opted to lose Tito, but seemed to regret doing so. The Donald even went so far as to give $50,000 of his own money to Tito's charity, but I really have no idea why.

More concerning to me though is why the episode felt so lackluster. I'd love to hear your thoughts about it. The task seemed run of the mill, which is just fine, but the amount of time spent on putting the ad together terribly brief. The final ads felt like they came together by magic. And, are the boardrooms running longer, with less happening in them, this season or does it just seem like it?

One aside and one more question tonight:

  • Did you notice at the beginning of the show, immediately after the opening credits, when they did one of those place-setting montages of New York, they showed, allegedly, a sun coming up. However, the sun went from our lower right to upper left as it rose. The sun, at least in New York, doesn't do that.
  • Trump kept claiming that Tito was a great competitor and did a wonderful job, but frankly what has made the air this season didn't quite show that. What we saw was a very quite guy who offered up a few small ideas here and there but pretty much stayed out of the fray. So, why did Trump like him so much?

Well, if Trump likes Tito, I just know he'll love The TV and Film Guy's Reviews.