'The Good Wife,' 'Mom,' 'Scandal' and more best lines for the week of April 13-19

best-lines-april-13-19-mom-scandal-good-wife.jpgFrom "Agents of SHIELD" to "Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown," here's a look at the best bon mots from TV for the week of April 13-19.

"The Good Wife"


Diane to Alicia: "We were like two mistresses at an Irish funeral. Oh, I'm sorry. I meant that metaphorically."

David on Florrick/Agos' offices: "Very 1990s T-shirt factory."

"Game of Thrones"

Ramsay: "Theon was our enemy, but Reek ... Reek will never betray us."

Olenna to Sansa: "War is war, but killing a man at a wedding? Horrid. What sort of monster would do such a thing? As if men need more reasons to fear marriage." 

Brienne, of Jamie: "
In truth, he rescued me, your grace -- more than once." -
Cersei: "[Pauses] Did he? I hadn't heard that story before."

Margaery: "Oh look, the pie!"

"Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown"

Bourdain on the food in Punjab, India: "If this was what vegeterianism meant in most of the places it's practiced in the West, I'd be at least half as much of a d*** about it."

"Mom"

Violet, in labor: "What are you doing?"
Christy: "I'm making a video for you to watch the next time you think about having unprotected sex."

Bonnie
: "I've been dreaming about standing over your dead body for years."
Alvin: "So you dream about me?"

"Agents of SHIELD"

Simmons to Fitz, after he shares their "orders": "SHIELD's been destroyed, Fury's dead; aren't they just requests?"

Skye: "We'll be ghosts. Not agents of SHIELD, just agents of nothing."
 
Ward: "I'm everyone's type."

"Scandal"

David
: "Homeland Security? They'll bury this whole thing under eight tons of paperwork and Voldemort gets away scot-free again."

Olivia: "I wouldn't want you if knowing what you know you left her now."

Olivia: "How did we get like this? When did we stop being people?"
Cyrus: "Were we ever people? Or did serving at the pleasure of the president just help us to shed our pesky skins and unmask us as the monsters we really are?"
Photo/Video credit: CBS, ABC