'The Real Housewives of New Jersey': Modeling after mom
I'm your realtor, not your therapist
I'm not quite sure if Danielle's realtor knew what she was getting herself into. Danielle asked her to come over to give her some tips on what she can fix around the house in preparation for selling her home. After walking around the house and pointing out some random nails and other tips, the two sit down to chat. Soon, Danielle is crying about how she can't move on with her life until she moves out of the house. That realtor is going to earn every penny of that commission.
She will never win against us
Jacqueline and Caroline are waiting for supermom, Teresa, to arrive for lunch. When she gets there, she tells them a little about her sex life while pregnant. Conversation soon moves to Danielle. Jacqueline feels a bit under attack, since she wasn't expecting to talk about Danielle.
I'm really impressed with Jacqueline's ability not to take sides even with all the pressure she gets from everyone around her. That sentiment might be misplaced, but at this point Danielle hasn't done anything to Jacqueline to make her believe that she's not just a woman who's trying to live a normal life after making some big mistakes. That's admirable.
The Ham Game
Caroline's kids, and when I say kids I mean adults, are preparing something in the kitchen when tomfoolery erupts. This tomfoolery has a name: "The ham game." They basically have a food fight with deli sliced ham. When Caroline comes in, she breaks it up. What's funny to me is that "The ham game" is something they all discuss as if it happens all the time. Chris even reminds his mom that he told her she should buy good ham and then cheaper ham for "The Ham game." That just cracks me up, because it's the kind of weird quirk that makes me think we're watching a real slice of their life, no matter how strange "The Ham Game" may seem to all of us.
Then, the topic moves to Albie's issue with his best friend, Vito, dating his sister, Lauren. This whole thing bothers Caroline, but what can she do? Albie wants his
Later, Vito comes by to take Lauren out and it's obvious there's some tension in the room between him and Albie. They decide to hash it out in the kitchen. It seems Albie is worried that in the future their relationship may sour and then Albie will be placed in the middle of it. For a second, I thought Vito was going to give in and break up with Lauren. But, it looks like Albie is willing to handle his feelings as long as Vito keeps the PDA to a minimum.
Take your laundry with you
Jacqueline's daughter comes by and she has a bag of laundry all ready to get washed. I'm not sure if she means to wash it herself or if she wants Jacqueline to wash it. If it's the latter, I would say hell no. Her daughter shouldn't get all the freedom of not living at home and following rules, yet still get all the benefits. Before long, Jacqueline and Ashley get into it over her inability to answer her mother's question regarding drunk driving. Ashley, it's easy. Do you have a designated driver? Yes, mom. Boom! Your clothing is washed, dried and folded. Attitude? Get out and take your laundry with you. Nice one, Jacqueline. By the way, can you believe Jacqueline has an eighteen-year-old daughter?
We'll have a big house... eventually
Danielle tells her oldest daughter, Christine, that IMG called and wants her to model for them. She's really excited, but Danielle is even more excited about the adventures they'll go on together. Her daughter looks a bit scared at the prospect. The best part is when Danielle asks her younger if she's next and she gives a scared look, as well. "Two superstars," Danielle proclaims. "We'll have a big house, eventually." Poor girls.
I created this monster
Jacqueline and Dina meet up at a baby store to shop for Teresa. Jacqueline remembers when she bought Ashley's baby things and then she tells Dina that Ashley moved out. Dina thinks she should just give Ashley an old-fashioned Italian whoopin'. If my kid rolled her eyes at me the way Ashley does at Jacqueline, I would consider Dina's advice. Ashley is 18 now, though, and it's a bit too late for all of that. Jacqueline knows it and admits, "I created this monster."
Teresa takes her daughter, Gia, for an audition to walk in an Elle.com show at New York Fashion Week and she's really very cute about it. It seems Teresa has turned down the stage mom thing a bit and is letting Gia handle the audition mostly on her own. She does her catwalk and does really well. I love when she shows what to do at the end of the catwalk and she assumes the model face, with her eyes looking downward and haughty. Too good. Not cool when Danielle says her daughter is not a supermodel, because she's four foot tall. The girl is eight, Danielle!
Then, we join Danielle's daughter at her shoot. It's kind of amazing that Gilles Bensimon (previously married to NYC housewife, Kelly Bensimon) is taking her picture. Christine looked beautiful. But then you had Danielle constantly talking and cheering her on, which she said definitely got on her nerves. And then, Danielle got in on the shoot. Now when Gilles said he wanted to take one picture of her, did you expect her to be in full makeup and wardrobe? That was a shocker. She then proclaimed that she would go to every shoot her daughter was going on. I have a feeling that will continue until Christine is able to tell her mom otherwise.
Later, we find out that Christine made it on the cover and the agency sees potential in her. They also want her to walk in New York Fashion Week. But, what's the music to Danielle's ears? "You're a good mom" and "Would you be willing to fly to Milan in a moments notice?" Um, yeah, hello, she plans to be right by her daughter's side the entire way (sometimes even in the same photo).
To celebrate Christine's magazine cover, Danielle decides to throw a luncheon. It's clearly not for Christine as much as it's for Danielle to "show her pride" or is it to show off? After discussing whether she should invite Dina and Jacqueline with her kids, she decides to call them. Dina says she might be busy, but she'll get back to her. Jacqueline turns down the invitation, knowing that her husband, Chris, won't approve. I doubt that Dina will go without Jacqueline, but that remains to be seen.
Meanwhile, Teresa has reason to be proud, as well. Gia booked the Elle.com gig! She was over the moon (oh, and Gia was really happy, too).
OK, so Danielle's luncheon arrives and several of her "closest" friends attend (though Dina says some of the women told her that they ran into Danielle at the supermarket). I'm still very unclear as to what went down with the shoot. Why? When Danielle finally unveils the magazine, there's Christine and, oh, there's Danielle! They used her picture and it's next to an article about her. I'm so confused. Was this shoot really meant to celebrate Danielle's picture in the magazine? And, what's the deal here? Was Christine picked, because controversial Danielle is her mother?
Then, the luncheon turns when Danielle announces that there are two empty seats at the table. They were meant for Dina and Jacqueline. Isn't that strange? Jacqueline said no right away. Dina claims she told Danielle before the event that she wasn't going. What is this weird mind game that Danielle is playing? Then, she calls out one of her guests for being Caroline's friend. No, it's not backstabbing Kim from last week, but another Kim. She claims she's not Caroline's friend and I don't blame her. I would eat live worms if it meant Danielle would leave me alone.
Do you feel Dina and Jacqueline are kind of leading Danielle on?
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Photo credit: Bravo