'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' recap: Ashley & Teresa: The Same Nasty Person
Previously: Ashley's many parents gathered round and stabbed her with their steely knives, but they just couldn't kill the beast.
Jacqueline: "Oh man, I never noticed what a ****ing monster our daughter is. I mean, she's the worst -- that's nothing new -- but this was just vicious. Did you hear the part where she called me a whore for getting pregnant in the first place?"
Chris: "Let your ex handle it. Not for any other reason than the fact that I have done my due diligence on treating that creature like a person rather than the goblin in a potholder she actually is."
The Ex: "Ashley, when you called your mom a whore just now I began to see their side of things."
Ashley: Rewrites history as usual.
Stepmother: "And yet everything your mom is saying is stuff I have personally witnessed. You are disgusting, just a wretched durian-fruit of a person."
Ashley: "You're just saying that because... Something about how victimized I am all the time."
The Ex: "In the real world, you require money to exchange for goods and services."
Ashley: "What a mean thing to say! Everybody is so mean all the time!"