'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' recap: LGBTQNJ

new-jersey-2011-.jpgPreviously on Masterpiece Classic Presents: The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Oh my God, kill me. Er, I mean, Ashle(e)(y) Skyped from wherever the hell she is now, Richie suggested that Joe Gorga and Teresa go to couples therapy as their family feud raged on, and Gia freaked out at field day and caused problems between Teresa and her only remaining ally, Jacqueline.

We enter with an aerial shot of the scenic circle of hell known as Franklin Lakes, and hear the melodic sounds of the Giudice spawn yelling at each other. Mini-terror Milania, who is secretly the greatest, harasses Gia about whether she's texting her boyfriend, and then Gia gets hostile in response, and then Milania tattles to Teresa that Gia is being fresh. Teresa is too busy using cover-up to hide the tears and sadness on her face to truly intervene, and Milania suggests that Joe Giudice should take away Gia's phone. You have to admire her proactivity in not only complaining, but suggesting possible solutions to the problem as well. Teresa understates that Gia has been in a bad mood lately, and notes that she was surprised at how she lashed out at Joe Gorga on game day, given her abiding love for Zio Joe. Thus, Teresa infers, something is really bothering her. With the way this kid's life is turning out, what wouldn't be bothering her?

Teresa tries to get Gia to talk about field day, asking what she and Zio Joe were talking about. Gia cops a major attitude as she says that they were just talking about how he and Teresa are going to make things better. Teresa wants more details, but Gia just rolls her eyes like 1,000 times in response. And so Teresa tells Gia that even though she gets upset she will always love her brother Joe, and is in fact trying to make it better. Teresa asks Gia if she has any advice on how to make the relationship better, and Gia blows her nose heartily in response. Lord Jesus, I am never having children. Teresa wants Gia to know that she's doing whatever it takes to put the family back together, thus providing a model of how to put in a modicum of effort toward family caring and cohesion. Gia remains unimpressed, and nearly dies of embarrassment when Teresa tries to rub noses.

At the Wakile household, everyone is hanging out as Rosie comes to visit. Kathy explains that she and Rosie have had some ups and downs, and that Rosie has always put a distance between them. We see a very '80s photo of the sisters together, and it is truly magical. The hair! If only someone had lit a single match when the entire Gorga/Giudice/Wakile family was in a room together way back in 1987, we wouldn't have to suffer through their shenanigans today. These days, Kathy says, Rosie is much more comfortable with who she is and they can tell each other everything. Meaning, Rosie was a big ol' closet case for a while. She and Kathy talk about her coming out, and Rosie says that she went through a ten-year struggle. Kathy wishes that Rosie could have turned to her during that time, and starts crying a little. She always felt that Rosie was gay, but in their old-fashioned Italian Catholic family, she remained closeted until her 30s. Kathy wants Rosie to always be who she is, and never be afraid that her family won't love her. And I mean, who couldn't love Rosie?