'The Real Housewives of New Jersey' recap: Little Lady Sings the Blues
Caroline and Jacqueline are driving around, talking about a 5K walk-run for charity in which they're both participating, Caroline admits she's in worse shape than she was even when she was heavier. Since the Housewives and their families are going to the Dominican Republic the next week, she's putting in one last-ditch workout. She tells Jacqueline that Gorgas, Giudices, and Wakiles will also be participating. Jacqueline thinks things will be fine if Rich's birthday party was any indication. Caroline reminds her that Teresa and Juicy weren't at Rich's party. Jacqueline: "Oh, good point." Caroline thinks all of Teresa's fake cheer is a foreboding that all hell is going to break loose.
They arrive at Jacqueline's home, where Teresa has uncharacteristically paid an unannounced visit. They head inside where Teresa fills them in on the drama at her book signing. As she's hearing about the petty bull**** going down between the Joes, Caroline says matter-of-factly, "Real men don't fight over texts. It's, like, so high-school-girly." Caroline thinks both men are acting a fool and that it's affecting the healing process between Teresa and Joe. Teresa says there's even more pressure because Milania's birthday party is just around the corner. Jacqueline thinks the Gorgas maybe should take a pass on the festivities, but Teresa says that's not an option. Caroline thinks the Joes should just act like grown-up damn men for a minute. She also thinks the only way Teresa is going to talk some sense into Joe is by reaching out to Melissa. It's a good idea on papers, but, given how well all of Teresa's interactions with Melissa up to this point have gone, I might tend to disagree...
Teresa offers to call Melissa, and Caroline makes her do it right then and there so they can hear it and diffuse any tension if necessary. Teresa tells Melissa they both need to talk to their husbands and convince them to let bygones be bygones and move forward. Melissa agrees. Then, as any person with even a quarter of brain could have guessed, the conversation goes straight to hell. Teresa accuses Joe of doing whatever he wants around Juicy, and Melissa responds the Juicy and Teresa are fakedy-fakes -- witness, the christening. Jacqueline and Caroline are waving their hands and pretending to choke and clanging pots and whatnot, but this hurricane is in full swing. There's such a torrent of words that the editors can't even subtitle it all.