'The Voice' recap: Two Tickets to Bonertown

the-voice-season-2.jpgWelcome to The Voice! Tonight, Adam Levine looks vaguely like a svelte army recruit -- is it his newly single look? I have a theory that whenever a guy goes through a break up, he gets a weird haircut and it looks like I've still got it! Cee Lo isn't in a wig, but he's in a red suit and sweating profusely. Christina actually looks like herself circa 1999 "Genie in a Bottle" with sparkly lids, flat ironed hair, a tight knit dress and what may actually be nipples that aren't exposed, but time will tell on that one. Seriously though, she's obviously lost a lot of weight and while she (ironically) has that Betty Draper dead-behind-the-eyes look at first glance, we can assume she's proud of herself, so good for her! Blake looks... I don't know, like he always does. What is this, a fashion recap?

Tonight, Team Adam and Team Cee Lo are in the hot seat. We'll see Cee Lo coach Tony Vincent in full-blown Cincinnati Reds gear and listen in as Adam has an awesome time drinking shooters, listening to awesome music and then just sitting around soaking up everyone's awesomeness. You can vote in many ways, blah blah blah let's hear some VOICES!

Adam says that, based on last week, it's evident that he has his work cut out for him and has apparently given his team some very generic inspirational advice. Meanwhile, Cee Lo is drenched head-to-diamond watch in his own body fluids and I think there's a theme song for this.

Aw, there's Blake and Xtina's teams! They're all happy to be there and Xtina is feeling absolutely confident and so relaxed. She's looking forward to sitting back and being entertained. Blake has no advice whatsoever and openly says he doesn't give a crap about being there. Him and Adam talk about him wearing the color of crap and let's get to this shizz already, okay? From Team Adam, it's 34-year-old insurance worker Katrina Parker. Remember her? She had an illness and Carson "surprised" her at "work." She's singing the Smashing Pumpkin's "Tonight, Tonight" and Adam tells her that she has to stop trying to be Adele, which is highly appreciated until we see her live on stage styled exactly like Adele. Good! I love this song but she doesn't do it much justice, getting drowned out by the background music and not projecting nearly as much as she needs to... not that it really matters, as her voice isn't impressive at all. Cute parents, though.