'The Walking Dead,' 'Glee' and more best lines from March 16-22

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best-lines-week-of-march-16-amc-fox-abc-family.jpgA round-up of the best TV line for the week of March 16-22.

‪ NCAA tournament‬:

‪Verne Lundquist: "If you like offense ... I'm sorry." (after an exceptionally ugly first half between Syracuse and Dayton‬"

"Episodes":

Castor Sotto: "We gotta throw away the rules. Who says one show has to end before another one can start? ... Say you're in the middle of some cooking show -- some woman's cooking and cooking and all of a sudden the bad guy from one of our dramas runs in with a f***ing gun and holds her f***ing hostage. Meanwhile, she has no idea what the f*** is happening! She's like, 'AHH! What the f*** is happening?!' and people are tweeting and twittering, 'You gotta watch this, turn it on!' Then one of the cops from the drama runs in and shoots him. I mean actually shoots him. ... We'll have to pay him more, you know there are actors who will do it. So we shoot him, then the police run in -- the real police. And it's news. Then we cut to our news guy, that's when our news show starts. We make the news, then we report the news. And nobody's going to report it before us before us because we're the only ones who know what's going to happen. It's TV for a new century and that's why they're gonna watch us and not the other guys!"

"Archer":

Cyril: "Do you think those guys are Doctors Without Borders?"
Sterling: "Yes, Cyril, I do. I bet those assault rifles shoot polio vaccine."

"The Blacklist":

Red: "Once you cross over, there are things in the darkness that can keep your heart from ever feeling the light again."

"Survivor":

Kass: "We're not the Brains tribe, we're the crap-for-Brains tribe."

"Pretty Little Liars":

Hanna: "I can't believe your mom buried you alive."

"2 Broke Girls":

Max: "Look ... it's Lepre-Han!"

"Dallas":

Sue Ellen to Afton: "The most despicable thing J.R. ever did ... was you."

‪ "Glee": ‬

‪Tina, about the just-returned April Rhodes: "She once taught me how to shoplift meat in my vagina."‬

‪Brittany: "I just want my old life back, when I wasn't a mathematical genius and all I wanted to do was scissor you and hold my cat."‬

‪ "How I Met Your M‬other":

‪The Mother: "What are you doing?"‬
‪Ted [pausing before he catches up with her]: "Remembering this."‬

"The Walking Dead":

Carol of her daugher Sophia: "She was sweet. She didn't have a mean bone in her body."
Lizzie: "Is that why she isn't here now?"
 
Tyreese: "The whole world is haunted now, and there's no getting out of it -- not until we're dead."
 
Carol: "Just look at the flowers, Lizzie."
Photo/Video credit: AMC, FOX, ABC Family